I forgot to share with you this little nugget;
While I was still spinning a bit from the lunch conversation (before going to the restroom) I tried, tactfully, to change the subject. She had mentioned in an email to me that she would need to leave the mall by noon in order to get to an assertiveness support group so I took this opportunity to ask her about it.
I said "So - what do you talk about at your support groups?" and this was her response: "Oh you know - I don't know you well enough to tell you about it."
EXCUSE ME?? You knew me well enough to ask about my sex life but you don't know me well enough to tell me about a support group you go to??
She did say "It's helping me think about myself more." Ummm...yeah - not sure that's so much a necessity. How about thinking about others??
But wait - there is even more! Here is an email I received from her tonight. I am posting it as is....do you think someone will tell her about spell check one of these days?
**********SNIP**********
Hi Casey,
Thanks for meeting us.It might be fun for the kids to meet at a park. Anyway I wanted you to know I wasnt askin if you were momogumis because you have a female mate.
I knew a girl in highschool later when we were both married we hung out a little then she asked if we wanted to swap.it upset me i was only in my late 20s .So I just like to let people know ahead .
You have great kids..Enjoy yor trip. We might go there on our anniversary in August.
Hope to hear from you again.
********END SNIP************
Seriously? SERIOUSLY????????
I'm thinking about sending an honest response because it feels weird not to respond in some way. Now I just have to find a way to tactfully tell her how very much she offended me. OY!
Do you think there might be a place that she can go for rehab? Clearly not (well - I guess I shouldn't say "clearly not" LOL!) drug rehab but maybe something like it?
19 comments:
Wow!! I actually went on that site and posted myself as it is very hard to find stay-at-home moms. I'm a little scared now.
SJaynei: Don't be scared. Just be cautious. Meet in a public area (the mall play area or a childrens area of a library are great places!) and have a definite time that you can stay. 1 hour is probably good. The other thing is use the mailbox that the MM site has for you and don't give out personal info. I, like an idiot, gave her my personal email which makes it harder to ignore now. At least I didn't give out my blog info. :) :) Like I said, I know someone who made a really good friend through MM's so it is definitely worth it. If it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out. No harm done - and hey, it makes for good blogging later. :)
All I can do is shake my head in disbelief...
:o)
She needs an "assertiveness" group?? How frightening! I can't imagine how she will be when she "graduates"!!!! Honestly, that woman sounds very, VERY strange. You'll find more healthy acquaintances somewhere. Avoid her like the plague. Ick.
Wow, I'm so sorry your mommy friend turned out to be a neanderthal. Geeesh. Hope the next mama you meet is more intelligent.
I'm almost speechless. Like I've said before, meeting new friends really is like dating. Worth trying for though. I am completely nonconfrontational but I think even I would need to let her know how offensive she was. I would use "nice words" cuz that's me but still would let her know. I pity her for her ignorance and am proud of you for putting yourself out there. Now run like the wind.
Um, I don't think she really needs an assertiveness support group. She seems to be plenty assertive already. I definitely think you should tell her she offended you. Maybe it will help her have a little tact next time she meets someone new.
Oh wow. I really don't know what to say in response to her stupidity. I LOVE how she spelled asking. Wow, looks like you dodged the bullet with this one Casey.
When you write her back I would be very blunt with her.
Man, she has a lot of nerve.
I haven't read the next post yet but I have a feeling i'm in for quite a ride.......
It sounds like this woman has more issues that just ignorance. I don't know how I would respond to her. It's just all very bizarre.
Nothing new to comment, but I just had to say it- strange, weird, crazy.
Since you have no desire to interact with her again, being blunt is perfectly fine. I don't know if she would get social niceties anyway.
I would say something along the lines of how bringing up monogamy (spelled correctly of course) in an initial meeting in the way she did really was offensive. I would also address the questions she asked you about Dakota, how your children were conceived, etc were also inappropriate and off putting.
I would then say thanks for the meeting, but that you don't intend to have any further contact with her and leave it at that. What a loon she is!
Ohmigod, what a freak!! I think the last thing that woman needs is an assertiveness group.
OMG, what a nutcase! Run, run far away from her! Sheesh!
Casey - she sounds crazy! Goodness gracious! I am just baffled why someone who so obviously has issues with people different from herself would actually meet up with someone that she knows lives a different life than she does and then totally grill you - clearly she has issues! That is completely beyond inappropriate!
The fact that she questioned your morals was a bit nutty too - uggg seriously that is so stupid. Sounds like she is just an awkward person, bleck, good riddance to her!
I'm so sorry you went through this, and I'm seriously so impressed that you put yourself out there, you are so BRAVE, I'm majorly impressed - keep trying! You'll get it!
(also, i really hope you have a good relaxing weekend this weekend, I'll be thinking of you!)
First I was going to say "seriously"?? but then I realized that, yes, people like this really DO exist.
Okay- first off I just got home from a week's vacation and I could not wait to catch up on what you and your family have been up to! Am I hooked on blogging or what!?
Anyhow- this story just makes me sad. I am so TIRED of the way people treat others. Why does this women have to ask what you call Dakota and why does she have to stumble on her words and be so awkward. I have straight and gay friends and I could care less about their sexual orientation. I don't even think about it. Grow up already lady. I am just sad that we live in a world where we are not all equal. I am sorry that you had to spend a day with this women. Keep looking for more moms to hang with. Their just has to be some normal people out there!
Heidi
I think I would tell her that my e-mail address was in the process of changing and then give the MM mailbox as your address for the time being. Think up some excuses for NOT getting together. I wouldn't tell her outright that she's offended me. No doubt she has done this very same thing to other people and probably, quite a few other people.
She actually sounds similar to someone a friend of mine has encountered. This woman is basically harmless, but seems to have no boundaries. Fortunately, in her case, it has to do with what SHE reveals about herself (UGH!) and not with asking overly personal questions.
You are well within your rights to tell her you're not going to answer something, but it's probably better not to revisit the issue once the moment has passed. She seems clueless, but sometime, she'll be set be straight. Just let someone else do it!
oh. my. god. that is some experience you had. that woman is messed and probably has no friends. she was totally inappropriate and I can't believe she doesn't see it.
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