Loss Come in Three's

It's been a month of loss for many of us with dogs in our lives. The month started out with losing Jordan. About week later, a friend of mine had to say goodbye to her dog. Then, this past weekend, my good friend Stella, said goodbye to her pupster. All had loved long, happy lives but just the same, saying goodbye is never easy. There is nothing, and I mean nothing, like the absolute pure love of an animal.

"They" say things comes in three's. I hope this is it for a while.

My friend, Stella, lives in North Carolina. In October of 2001, when I was pregnant with Kelton, Dakota and I made a trip to visit her. It was an amazing week - one I recall often and fondly. I was introduced to sweet tea, grits, southern life, friends from across the United States and, of course, Stella's dog. Ironically, Stella's dog was named Dakota though he was well known by his nickname (well earned in his puppy years) of DakotaDevilDog.

Stella and I have been emailing back and forth for days now and in my email yesterday, I received a photo of me with DakotaDevilDog that she had come across. It brought tears to my eyes. I know how very deeply my friend is grieving for her furry child and I would give oh so very much to have one of those Travel Agent Jobs so that I could fly for free and hang out with her for a few days.

I'm thinking of you, Stella, and wishing you love and peace. He was an amazing furry soul.

Behold

The beauty of nature in my own backyard.





Oh how I am loving my new fancy dancy camera. :)

Kaylen is Almost Seven

Kaylen received an early birthday gift for me this weekend - pierced ears! She has been wanting them for well over a year now and over the summer I told her we would revisit the discussion around her 7th birthday.

She is three weeks from turning seven and a couple weeks ago the decision was made that she would indeed get her wish.

She was so excited! She climbed in the chair, brave as could be. Picked out her earrings (pink peace signs, thankyouverymuch), and waited. I wasn't sure what to expect but she surprised me 100%. She didn't flinch. Afterwards she said it didn't hurt a bit (I had been prepping her that it wouldn't probably hurt a little) and wasn't hurting after (boy oh boy - mine sure did when I had them done at age 17).

She ran to the mirrors and admired herself and then we picked out other earrings so she will have them when the day comes when she can finally change them. Stephanie bought her an adorable purple letter K earring wall holder to put them in to keep them safe.

For hours after, she would look at me and say "I can't believe I FINALLY have pierced ears!"

Me either, baby girl. Me, either.

Happy Early 7th Birthday!!!


BEFORE:


DURING:

AFTER:

Dreaming of Changes

I am feeling restless. It's that time of year when I need to clean out and shake up my surroundings. I've already taken two big loads to the donation center and every week I am picking a cabinet and doing a complete reorg of it. I didn't even remember I had some of the stuff I am finding.

Today I found myself dreaming of rearranging my bedroom. If only my bed was on casters, it would be easier to really be serious about. Not that I really could do much with it since the slider takes up an entire wall but none the less - the thought appeals to me.

I could shift my bed to the other side of the room, move my dressers and bookcase...but then, would I like it any better? I do like my room the way I have it. And I really plan to leave it as it is but still....every now and then I think switching it around would be fun.

Instead of moving heavy furniture around though, I guess I will just continue on with my annual purge of "stuff".

If only the kids would follow suit.

Monday Rambling

The snow, ever so fleeting, is gone and in its place, is rain. Lots and lots and lots of rain. I walked across the front lawn today and with each step, I sunk in the mushy-ness of rain soaked soil. The ground is so wet I don't see how it can hold an ounce more.

I'm kind of sad that we missed the record snowfall that the Seattle area had last week but then again, I'm not. As beautiful as snow is, they really got hit hard. Well - you know, hard for this area. I know most of the country has waaaay more snow than we do but for those of us who reside in the PNW, it was a lot of snow.

I'm pretty sure you would be hard pressed to find snow boots, hats and gloves in many stores after the last week. I think that part cracks me up the most - not many of us gear up with snow clothes for the winter so when the possibility of snow becomes a front page story, everyone runs out to buy boots, warm gloves, snow shovels, etc. It's almost comical. You know, unless I am one of the ones out searching in the hours before the storm is supposed to hit. Then? Then it isn't so funny.

It's those times that I am wishing for coldwater creek coupons, and free overnight shipping. But I guess you have to ask yourself "Where's the sport in that?"

Now - because I am who I am, I usually hit the after season sale racks and stock up for the following year. I bought snow pants for the kids two years ago that they still were able to wear this year. Kelton, not so much. He couldn't snap the bib part of his snow pants because he has gotten so darn tall but the pants worked well enough. Kaylen's still fit fine but they sure won't next year. Hopefully, in the spring I will find snow pants for pennies on the dollar so I can be prepared for next year. This year, Dakota picked up their snow boots, which was really great. Kelton had a pair that were too small, but could have worked but Kaylen had worn hers out last year from wearing them almost every single day to school last winter.

I'm willing to bet we have seen the last of the snow this year. Which is sad but it's just been too warm here. We haven't had our usual cold streaks of temps int he teens for a week or two. It's hovering around 40.....and it's WET. I wouldn't mind a few more snow days but I just have my doubts that will happen.

At least we had the one though. I'm grateful for that. :)

Finally - A Snow Day!!

This weekend, Kaylen attended a cheer leading clinic that our school district puts on once every few months and last night was the basketball game that she was invited to come cheer for. She was so excited and so stinking adorable.




The game lasted until about 8:30pm and when we left the high school gym, we were surprised to find snow falling - and sticking! We have been teased with snow flurries for days now and the weather reports just kept moving the timeline for snow further and further out so to actually see it sticking was pretty cool.

We got home and the kids promptly ran outside to make snowballs and have a little fun. We speculated about whether there would be school today or not. We all hoped for not because snow days are magical.

They finally came back inside and warmed up by changing into their pajamas and then snuggling on my bed while we watched the snow fall. We talked about the things we would like to do if the school district decided to call a snow day. Kaylen wanted to build a snowman, Kelton wanted to build a fire, I wanted time to just look out the window and enjoy the winter wonderland while I drank a cup of coffee. We decided a movie in the early evening would be a perfect way to end the day.

The kids ran off to brush their teeth while I got their rooms ready. I have a favorite memory from when I was a kid, my mom came into my room and opened the curtains so I could watch the snow fall as I fell asleep. I have done it every snowfall of my life since. I decided to do that for the kids. I pulled up their blinds and waited. "COOL!" yelled Kelton as he came into his room. "Can I keep it like that all night?" "Yep." I smiled back.

The kids climbed into their beds and I tucked them in. I returned to my room to watch the snow through my slider. They talked with each other back and forth and I just sat back and listened. Oh the magic of snow!!!

They finally drifted off about 10pm but I was no where near ready for sleep. I ended up staying up watching the snow fall until shortly after midnight, when I finally drifted off.
My text alert chimed at 4:18am. The school district had cancelled school. YES!!!!

I dozed, off and on until about 6:30 when I heard Kelton get up. Soon, whispering could be heard and then the shuffle of little feet. It wasn't long before I heard them enter my room and quietly say "Mom....we made you coffee!" Then they scooted off again.

I got up a few minutes later and went into the living room to open the blinds. Kelton started asking what news site he could go to to see if there was school. Silly bears! I said "School is closed today!" and they both cheered.

I noticed that the snow was starting to melt and a light rain was falling so when they asked if they could go out to play, I agreed, knowing it might be their only chance.

We measured the snow on the patio. Two very slushy inches.

They put on all their snow clothes and ran to the front yard. Snow people building began. I pulled on my snow boots and coat and went to help them a couple times. The rain was falling harder but it didn't stop them.


When they finally came back in the house, they were soaking wet and freezing cold. Hot cocoa all around, please!

We hung out and watched some TV together and I declared a pajama day. Just a bit ago, Kaylen asked to go back out. Kelton is staying in. Snow is beautiful and wonderful but I think he is getting to the age where he doesn't feel the need to be out there constantly. It's kind of nice to have a "window buddy" with me as we watch Kaylen build another snow family.




Snow days. Nothing like them!

An interesting take on things, don't you think? I hadn't thought of it that way but it does make perfect sense. I have a few people who don't so much appreciate me, but when I stopped to examine the situations (after reading this quote), I can totally see where it is because I stood up for something....or someone...or myself. But of course, you can also bring the wrath of people when you stay quiet (and let others fill in the blanks on their own (and were wrong about in their conclusion but by then the damage was done) about something for which you should have stood up. I don't think I will take that route again. I'd rather be disliked because I stood up for something than disliked because people jumped to the wrong conclussion.

Just sayin'.

It's all so complicated, isn't it?

Back in MY day......

It seems that music can be stored in all sorts of manners these days; CD's, ipods, mp3 players, heck - even on our phones. I find it kind of amazing when my kids just take for granted the ease of listening to their music.

When I was a kid *cue violins' please*, you had two options for music: the radio or the hi-fi. Yes, I said it. Hi-Fi. It's what my parents called it. Of course, they called the couch a davenport, too. And a kitchen counter? A drainboard. But I digress.

I remember in the early 80's when CD's where just arriving on the scene. A friend of mine was going crazy moving into the land of this new technology but I was standing firm in my "records are the way to go" frame of mind. I mean really! Those little discs would never take off. Records had been around forever!

But take off they did. Soon my records were obsolete. Remember "mixed tapes"? You would find songs you liked and put a bunch of them together on a cassette tape and give it to the person you liked - sort of a musical love letter. Now, in order to make a "mixed tape". you need to do some fancy cd replication.

Or heck - make a playlist, upload it, download it and presto! It is in the possession of your beloved.

How times change. I was just thinking the other day of the things that have come to light in my lifetime: calculators, microwaves, cordless phones, video tapes, answering machines, VCR's, DVR's, CD's, DVD's, cell phones, computers, electric cars, etc. It's really quite mind blowing.

And I need to stop now because I am feeling really, really, really old.

Geritol, anyone? :)

Random

The neighbor had the plumber over last night. I can only guess it was an emergency call from the lateness of the hour. It made me sad for her because well...plumbing problems suck and they cost a freakin' arm and leg!

It made me think back to the days I lived in a duplex. It seemed like we had the plumber over a few times too many to deal with things (all on the landlords tab, thank goodness!) and I have to say, I have not missed needing to call a plumber in all the years since.

Sure - I've had minor plumbing issues in recent years but a $60 auger and sheer determination fixed that problem - oh, and explaining to Kaylen that you just can't flush an entire roll of toilet paper at one time.

Thankfully, I've had nothing as serious as flooding from a burst pipe which would require something like a goulds pump. But just watch - I just angered the plumbing gods. I should know better. I'm sure it's something like telling someone that your baby slept through the night. You just assured yourself that that miracle won't be happening again for a long while. Or getting a wee bit of extra money. It seems that the appliances conspire against you and the next thing you know, you have spent the "extra" money and then some.

I shouldn't tempt fate. I know better than that.

Or I would have thought.

So True!

"LOVE ME or HATE ME; Both are in my favor. If you love me,I'll always be in your heart. If you hate me, I'll always be in your mind." -Unknown

Better Late Than Never. Right?

Fifteen Years

Today is an anniversary for me. Fifteen years ago, right about now, I fell 6 feet from a fence and broke my back. Every day since then has really been a gift, since one of the first things I heard from the ER doctor after they discovered the break was "You are incredibly lucky. The type of fall you experienced can easily result in paralysis or death."

I will tell you though, there are some days it doesn't feel like I was lucky. Since that very cold morning, my life has never been the same. Pain, except for migraines, was a foreign concept to me. And even migraines...well....take something and they got better. This new world of pain is one that has been with me *every single day* in the past 15 years. Some days it can bring me to my knees. Other days, I do my best to ignore it.

The fall I had brought many changes to my life. Things I am not "medically cleared" to do. Things I shouldn't do, but do anyway because things have to get done, but for which I pay dearly in higher pain for days. It also brought, years later, syringomyelia which impacted greatly my already impacted abilities. The challenges of this condition are ones that affect me every single day. The pain, which I had learned to deal with, moved to a greater intensity and remains there. My pain is no longer primarily focused in one section of my back and instead, runs the entire length with more intense points along the way. My muscle strength is affected, my entire nervous system is impacted. My spinal fluid pressure, which fluctuates for everyone daily, can cause chaos inside me. Some days, I can't even twist the lid off a gallon of milk, let alone lift it. I'm grateful the kids are getting old enough to be of more help on my bad days. Kelton has learned to open jars for me and take lids off of things.

Fifteen years ago today - everything changed.

I remember once, a year into my recovery, shortly before my spinal fusion, my primary care doctor made the comment about how in five years I would look back and see how far I had come and how much more I was able to do. I'm still waiting for that day. I'm thinking it won't be coming BUT....I am alive and as healthy as I can be, all things considered. I'll take the pain and the limitations (and try not to show my frustration, and pain level, too much) over the possibility that the fall could have killed me.

Yes, I carried two babies to term. And I will tell you that never, in the entire 15 years, have I ever felt as good and had as low a level of pain as when I was pregnant. Pregnancy hormones were a good, good thing for me. I remember thinking that I wished there was a way I could stay pregnant forever because I just felt soooooo good!

Fifteen years ago.

I have constant pain to remind me at every single turn.

Time flies. And time crawls. All at the same time.