I turned on The View while I was folding laundry and I caught a conversation about the new trend for kids birthdays: buying each sibling in the family of the birthday child a gift. Not equal to the birthday childs, but a gift none the less.
(source: http://theview.abc.go.com/video/hot-topics-giving-gifts-kids)
Are you freakin' kidding me?!?!?!
Because why? Birthdays aren't stressful, and expensive, enough?
The cost alone makes that "expectation" ridiculous. Of course, Whoopi Goldberg and Barbara Walters confessed that is what they *always* do. Well sure - and if I were rolling in money I would probably do it too but for the rest of us? That hardly seems like a trend we should embrace.
I have a hard enough time figuring out how to afford birthday gifts for nieces and nephews and the various friend parties the children are lucky enough to be invited to (and, I might add, I do so happily because birthdays are important) but if siblings expected to receive gifts as well? I can tell you that we would be accepting a lot less invitations.
I take issue with goody bags, to be honest. I find them a wasteful expense and it drives me wild that my kids have come to expect "their gift" for attending a birthday party. We talk about it before parties when they start getting excited about what they "will get" and I tell them they they shouldn't expect to receive anything because it isn't their birthday. I share the fact that when I was a child, we were thrilled if there were balloons we each got to take with us but that no one ever gave us things for going to a party. You go to parties because you love the person being celebrated and you want to celebrate with them. You absolutely do not go because you want to get something.
I wish goodies bags would go away. I only make a few (we have family parties so it's cousins only in regards to kids (except last year when Kaylen was fortunate enough to have a play group party at Chuck E Cheese)) and the stress they cause is almost as much stress as the party itself. What to get? What is age appropriate? If you get X for the over 3 kids and Y for the under 3 kids will someone have a meltdown?
It's just too much.
And now "they" (whoever "they" are) think adding the stress of buying siblings gifts if you go to a birthday celebration is a good idea? I think not!
I say we stand firm and refuse to partake in such foolishness. If we don't bend to the social pressure maybe we can stop the tide from turning.
And even if the waves smash us to the ground and it becomes the new expectation then this is what you can expect from me: please do not buy the sibling of my birthday child a gift because I won't be buying the siblings of your birthday child a gift.
Oh the insanity of it.
:)
12 comments:
i hate goodie bags too. makes me wanna "whack my kids upside the haid" when they've had a perfectly lovely time at a party...and then upon leaving it (when there are no bags) they say..."but we didn't get anything!" jeez louise! my usual (unappreciated by my kids) response: "that nice family just spent money to entertain you while celebrating their kid...isn't that enough?" just creating another level of entitlement if we continue on in this manner...so, i'd have to say HELL NO to buying gifts for siblings when it's not their birthdays. rant over!
I don't usually provide Gift Bags for parties, I've done it, but don't like it. I'm also not one who will go and spend a billion dollars on a party either. Snacks, cake and drinks AT HOME is plenty.
That's ridiculous. It's 1 kid's birthday, their special day! And goodie bags? My mom did those maybe a couple of years and would always say how much she hated it.
Craziness! Just more mass consumerism. Let's be sure to start kids at a really young age believing they need material things to make them happy. It's already on TV, at their schools, in their games, by all means, yes, let's add it to this!
NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
I haaaate goodie bags, mostly because of the pressure and additional expense. No freaking way would I be able to manage getting every sibling in the birthday family a gift. That's ridiculous. Ugh.
I hate going to parties where they pass out goodie bags. The stuff in them is crap, because they don't want to have to but it either so they don't spend money on it, and rightly so. We get home, Audrey plays with one or two of the goodies then they end up cluttering up her already cluttered play area. And don't ever let her see me throwing away that broken army guy with a parachute, because apparently there are another good 5 minutes of play left in him.
For Audrey's last birthday, the kids decorated picture frames. It functioned as an activity and each of the frames only cost a dollar. Plus they had something to take home that could actually be used, assuming the parents stuck a picture in it. Audrey has hers in her room with a pic of her and me.
Anyway, this is a long rant saying- down with the goodie bags!
Oh, and since the actual topic of the post was gifts for the siblings I say, What?! No way. Like you said, I have a hard enough time getting something for the birthday kid- making it not too expensive but still something the kid will get a lot of use out of.
I am with you on goodie bags, they are almost always silly little thinks that break or get lost or don't work. I think that the MOM should get the gifts on the birthday...after all, she did all the work that day :)
I can't stand when someone buys the other child a gift just because....HEY they have to learn it's not their day!!!! My daughters mother in law ALWAYS does this and it drives me CRAZY....
@tribe mama- I'll second that! Gifts for mom!
I hadn't heard of this new phenomenon, but I'll gladly admit I too would not be willing to buy a gift for the siblings to the birthday kid. It takes away from the specialness of their day, and adds financial strain to attending a party. And while I admit to putting together gift bags, I do it grudgingly, because it's become so expected. I'm glad to know, Casey, that you coach your kids before a party about how they might not get a goody bag. If we all did this, we could slowly start phasing them out!! Good post.
and i think it just leads to the entitlement generation...thinking they always get something. the only time we've done a sibling gift was when a new baby joined the family and we bought a big sister/brother gift. but a birthday is about the person whose birthday it is and i think it's a good lesson for the kids to know that it's not always about them... :P
we do gift bags but i grew up with that and just think it's fun. nothing big in them and we hand them out when kids leave so it won't matter who gets what.
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