It's been the weekend for intense conversations with the kids. Last night Kelton and I had the opportunity to go on a date together to the Spaghetti Factory and the "How are babies made?" conversation came up. It's been a topic sitting in the background between him and Dakota for a couple weeks now but I guess because he had me alone, he thought he'd just go for it. It was interesting and I think I answered his questions pretty well. I text'd Dakota to let her know and she was sad that she missed out. I relayed that to Kelton and he said "Tell her not to worry. I'm sure I'll have a lot more questions." My kid cracks me up. :)
Tonight we were on our way back from Oregon back into Washington and we noticed the southbound lanes were a mess. It didn't take long to figure out there was a jumper on the bridge. ( Suicide threat closes I-205 southbound bridge) This, of course, spurred the conversation of why someone would want to jump. Hmmm...not sure I was ready to tackle that one but ready or not - there it was.
So I told them about how some people are so sad that they see no other way out of their pain but to kill themselves. We talked about what that kind of pain must feel like and then Kelton hit me with "You've never thought about killing yourself, right Mom?"
I swallowed hard. I had a choice: lie and possibly lay the ground work for the kids feeling lost and alone when and if they ever feel that way or tell the truth.
I choose the truth.
"Yes." I said, "I have felt like that. I think everyone feels that way at some time in their live but the thing is, feeling sad like that doesn't last very long and even though it feels like you will always be that sad, you really won't be. So hurting yourself isn't really a good choice. Talking with me, your mom, or someone you trust is a much better way to go. We can help you see that you won't always be that sad and we can help you feel better again. That's what all those police officers are doing for that man; trying to help him feel like he won't always be as sad as he feels right now.
They seemed to quietly digest it. And I fully expect this conversation to resurface in the near future.
Making the decision to be truthful about things in my past, when they come up, is what I have always said I will do. I just didn't expect it to be so soon.
2 comments:
Sounds like you did a terrific job of answering his questions.
I have struggled with this already at our house too. Evan and I had a good discussion about why some people choose that option, and he doesn't really get it, but I did emphasize to him repeatedly that all problems are TEMPORARY and that this is NOT the solution. It sounds like you did a great job, Casey.
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