Kaylen isn't the only one with anxiety issues (brother and sister of mine, you can stop rolling your eyes. I know you know.). I struggle with my own demons constantly and today is one of those days when I feel like life is getting the better of me. The stress of Kaylen's issues, the kids fighting, the emotions running incredibly high for Kaylen, issues with the main computer.....it all feels overwhelming today.
Oh how I wish today was a stress-less day. Ok, to be fair, I wish my life was, for the most part, stress-less. I'd give a lot to have regular every day worries of "When will I have to to fill the gas tank tomorrow." or "I wonder if I should look into blackheads treatment". Instead of stressing out about how I will afford to fill the gas tank or whether or not my child is going to sink further into her issues or find a way through them. Instead of worrying about the computer having something seriously wrong with it and how I will be able to afford to fix that, I'd rather worry about how to get the cat vomit stain out of the carpet. Instead of worry that one of our cats is living what is most likely her last weeks and there is nothing I can do about it at this point, I'd rather worry about fixing the fence to keep the cats inside the yard instead of escaping through the hole in the fence (which, I actually successfully dealt with two weeks ago).
I want small worries. It feels like all I've had for well over a year are big worries. Worries that threaten to consume me. Saying it's better to "live in the moment" is great and all but I don't need the future biting me in the butt because I chose to ignore things until the moment it is do or die.
Life. I'm ready for it to be easier.