The Kaylen Report

I am beyond happy to report that Kaylen is working really hard to stay in her class and part of school activities. I am impressed with how much faster we (well...she) are (is) moving than I feared. After her really awful day (not last Friday - the time before that) she was determined not to have to leave class to go to her safe place with Sandy and I'll be darned if she hasn't stuck to that. Even when she would start to spin out of control, she would turn down the offer to go to Sandy and would work really hard to settle herself down. Her teacher and the counselor both have praised how much quicker she has become at settling herself down and they can see how hard she is working on herself.

I have one very determined little girl. She is fighting so hard for herself.

Last Friday was a different story. She didn't go to Sandy but she screamed at her teacher that she was tired and didn't want to do anything and then she cried. Loudly and for a long time. I was out on the hall listening, hoping she would pull it together. When it became clear she could not, I went and found the counselor who went in to work with her. They let her lay down in the class library area to rest for a while and once she felt better, she rejoined the class. Everyone agreed that she had done well all week, it must have been really hard on her to work that hard and yes, she was probably exhausted.

I was praised for not going into the room so that Kaylen could learn to rely on other people to help calm her down. Damn hard to do though, let me tell you.

This week a different child has been attending school. She cried Monday and Tuesday when I said my goodbyes but pulled herself together within 10 minutes both days (her teacher sent me emails to let me know she was ok). Today she happily went to class and when I asked if I could come back for her "kid of the day" presentation all the kids had created, she told me "Oh mom. *sigh* I guess so." With an eye roll.

I almost cried from happiness!!!!!! Who knew that having your child *almost* reject you would feel so amazing! I am so happy for her. She has worked hard and has come such a distance from 3 weeks ago.

I no longer have to stay on campus all day. I leave after dropping her off and then I go back for lunch and recess go home again for a little more than an hour, and then return for second recess. I stay the rest of the afternoon (75 minutes) and work on my PTO stuff. Kaylen makes me pinky swear that I will be there and I would never break a promise. Soon, we'll start weaning more. Probably afternoon recess will be the first to go since it's only 15 minutes.

So now, I get to come back home in the morning and do all the things that I have neglected for two weeks. I have hit the job trail hard and I'm taking care of scheduling appointments for various things, trying to find ways to cut back expenses, checking into a good life insurance rate and soon I'll go in and have my overdue oil changed in my vehicle.

I have to say, it feels good to be working on finding a job again. It means that things are stabilizing and while Kaylen will most likely never be "issue free", I am learning how to handle the new journey we are on - and most importantly, so is she. The kids are getting into the routine of life with school, homework, chores and downtime and I am feeling like I have a little breathing room. Now if only the perfect job would land in my lap.

Here's hoping!