We did our best to prepare Kaylen for school today. We had agreed that we would have here there only one hour and then I would pick her up. There were many tears over the weekend but we just kept assuring her that she was going to be ok and that her brain bug was playing tricks on her and that she had to learn to squish the brain bug.
This morning started out ok. She took a shower with me but then went back to my bed and hid under the covers. I asked her what she wanted for breakfast and she started in with "I don't want to go to school." I just said "I know you don't but it's what we are going to do today. You are going for one hour and then I will bring you back home."
I went out to take care of Kelton and get his breakfast and make his lunch. She came out and then flipped out completely when I turned on the blender to make fruit smoothies for Kelton and me. From there it was downhill all the way but I couldn't just sit and comfort her because I had Kelton to take care of and things to do to get everyone ready to leave.
Dakota arrived as planned and took over Kaylen and got her calmed down. Until it was suggested that she get dressed. Finally I said "What is going to make this doable for you?" "Momnmy in the room with me." Fine. Done. I told her I would sit in the back of the room for the hour.
She got dressed and ready to go and off we went.
We got her checked in and settled at an activity without any tears. Dakota said goodbye (we will be meeting with a team at 12:45 this afternoon to figure out a game plan (and if all of this works out like I hope, I'm going to need to get assorted gift baskets to give out to the team as a big thank you.) and I took my seat in the back of the room.
She seemed completely fine. Calm and in control. I hedged my bet and walked over and said "You are doing really well so I'm going to go do the PTO stuff and then I will be back." She gave me permission to be gone 5 minutes and I left.
I was actually gone 20 minutes and when I got back, I snuck in and sat in the back and watched her. To see her, you would never know how stressed out she has been. She was participating and writing and doing all the things she was supposed to do. I honestly believe it was because she knew she only had to get through an hour.
She actually hit 1 hour 10 minutes before another activity started. I asked if she wanted to stay through that activity or if she was ready to go. Gratefully she looked and me and said "I'm ready to go."
But....she was SO proud of herself! I was so proud of her! She squished her brain bug for the morning and she could not have been a happier girl. She even suggested that tomorrow she try for two hours.
I'm thinking I can be in and out of the room and see how she does but I know her confidence is pretty high right now.
Today beats the pants off of last week. She is happy. I am happy. And later Dakota and I meet with the team to see how we can keep her happy and secure and confident.
And yes, Kelton is doing well. He has trying to hard to help his sister get through this. A better big brother she couldn't ask for.
7 comments:
What an awesome accomplishment for Kaylen! It's so good of you to work with her and make a more relaxed transition for her, I'm glad you got to enjoy your morning as much as she did... here's hoping for an even better tomorrow :)
Great update Casey, look forward to hearing how the meeting went. It sounds like you've really figured out ways to give her a feeling of control, which is so important to kids whose bodies can feel out of control. Super job turning things around. I'm glad that your schedule gives you the flexibility to give her the support she needs and kudos to the school for their gentle approach as well.
Hugs,
Jennifer
Good for Kaylen......question...if you only make her stay for one hour today what will it be tomorrow then on Wednesday no school right???? so then won't you have to start all over???? Wish you guys weren't having to go through all of this....
Mimi, She did one hour today and is shooting for 2 hours tomorrow. Wednesday is an early release day so out at 12:50. We're hoping that she will be able to handle the whole day that day and then we can add another hour on Thursday and hopfully, a whole day Friday. We might be ambitious with that and it might take two weeks to reach our goal but we're going to try to go for it and see how see does with the plans we are putting into place for her. I'll blog about that later. it was a good meeting.
I am very glad she is doing better. Maybe the only silver lining I see is that if you had been working this would be so much harder for you guys.
Does the blender usually bother her? All the noisy stuff is a problem for J. Also, where did you come up with the brain bug idea? I've gotten the "I hate school", "I don't want to go to school" so many times I'm over it. I try to affirm his feelings so he knows I hear him, but other then that he has to go. :( It's so hard.
It sounds like you have a great support team at the school. I'm afraid of what will be available for J in Kinder.
When she was younger, the blender was hell for her. We'd have to take her out of the room or hold her and reassure her if there was no one to take her from the room. It hasn't been a triger in a while but clearly yesterday it was.
The brain bug is actually called The Worry Bug in the book titled "Freeing Your Child from Anxiety" by Tamar Chansky. There is a companion website: http://www.worrywisekids.org/
The resources were given to me by others. I have to say, I have the best blog readers and FB friend ever. So many people contacted me to offer advice, assistance or just reassurrance.
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