Saturday, September 25, 2010

Loss Compounded

I'm sure I'm not alone in this and well...if I am, I will come to terms with it on my own so no need to point out you think I'm crazy. We'll just go with that as the "given" factor.

For me, new loss seems to trigger something that brings past losses right up to the surface. The losses, all piling on top of each other threatening to push me down. Pets that I've lost in years gone by, relationships that ended, a dead mother, lost friendships...the list goes on and on. The panic rises and I can feel it building as the hours go by.

Loss. Pain. Heartbreak. Disbelief. Denial. Longing.

The tears flow and it helps bring the panic to a level that is mostly manageable. Then the tears stop and slowly, it all all builds up again.

Loss. I hate it.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Loss...something that never goes away no matter how many years pass. But the thing that makes you strong and whole is knowing you can handle it and with each passing moment you will become strong again. When the emotions build, cry, let them out and try to notice that each time it takes longer for them to rise.
Take care and many hugs Casey from a friend too seldom heard from.

Di

EH said...

Grief seems to compound with every loss - I've watched my husband mourn ferrets intensely because it triggered the loss of his mom. It just generally sucks all the way around. :(