So - all my thoughts the last week have been consumed with how to get Kaylen through whatever it is we need to get her through. I've picked up some books that people recommended on both sensory integration disorder and anxiety disorder in children.
I was knocked off balance to find out that she fits both profiles - which, as it turns out, is fairly common for SI kids. I had Dakota look through the books last night and she agrees that she sees Kaylen in both disorders. Things we never really thought about after we got her through whatever it was she would freak out about tie in perfectly with the extreme anxiety part. SI tends to set anxiety into motion.
For the most she isn't an anxious and scared child. It's isolated to situations which seem tied into her sensory issues. The chaos of school sets her anxiety into high gear which then feeds the SI issues which then feeds the anxiety issue.
Basically, it's become more complex and it's going to take a team of us to work her through all the things that is making school pure hell for her. The saddest part in all of this is how much she really, really, really wants to be able to go to school. It seems so cruel.
Instead of focusing on finding a job and taking care of everything under the sun that needs to be done (like getting insurance quotes to see if I can save money on car and home insurance), I will be focusing on how to get Kaylen to a place where she is ok.
Between Dakota, Kaylen's teacher, the OT guy, the counselor, the principal, Kaylen and me, I know we can figure something out. We have to find a way to let her succeed and enjoy school. She's been looking forward to going to school since she was knee high to a grasshopper.
This is so not what I expected. I was prepared for clothing issues, I was prepared for pallid breath holding syndrome. I was in no way prepared for what is happening. And I know neither was Kaylen.
6 comments:
I'm so so sorry that Kaylen is going through this. It sounds SO much like what I went through as a kid. I had a lot of situational anxiety and seperation anxiety. I was very nervous in new situations. So much so that I would make myself literally sick to my stomach. I also had a lot of the sensory issues- I would only wear a certain type of sock, a certain type of pants (I didn't wear jeans until the 7th grade!) and would constantly readjust my clothing. The first weeks of school were always really, really tough for me because I always wanted to be around my mom- she would stay home with us, and over the summer, so I hated being away from her during school. I have no idea what got me over it, but over time it definitely got easier. I'm sure it's just as scary for Kaylen and it's great that she has so many people there to care and look after her!
Casey, very sorry to hear this. However, Kaylen is very lucky to have you and Dakota as parents. Many parents will spend YEARS telling their kids to "get over it." before they realize it is an actual medical condition and needs to be treated as such...sounds like you're headed in the right direction, thinking of you.
Aw Casey I am so sorry for all of you! You will find a way through this. Has she expressed any of the things that are causing her anxiety, is it noise, environment, the change in schedule? Hopefully she can verbalize a few things that you guys can work on, and as she moves past those, she will share more with you as it becomes clearer. I have horrible anxiety so I feel for her, you will all find ways to help her cope and succeed!
I know it probably seems insurmountable right now, but anxiety is one of the "easier" (for lack of better term) things to deal with in a child. Yes, it takes a long time and a lot of consistency, but it does get easier. Recognizing and addressing it at this age will help get her through it that much faster.
M's first several years of school were ruled by sensory and anxiety issues, so much so that the school district I most recently pulled him from gave him an Emotional Disturbance dx, on top of AS. I argued the point that AS and severe anxiety go hand-in-hand, especially with sensory issues thrown in, but they felt his anxiety was above and beyond what was "normal" for AS. Ha, as if there even is a normal with AS. And, FWIW, the sensory issues have abated with time, at least the tactile ones.
Anyway, it's been a long haul and we're not nearly to a point of calm, but it's SO much easier than it used to be, with the structure and time and help from wherever I could get it.
Kaylen is going to be so much better off that you're all tackling this with her now. She will amaze herself and you and Dakota with what she'll be able to do with your guidance. Use those techniques you'll learn to help her anticipate what's going to cause stress, determine how big a deal that stress is, and move through it. A plus is that, as you're teaching her how to deal with her anxiety, you'll learn new ways to deal with your own. I've learned how to roll with the punches and not freak out in ways I never could in the past.
I know it seems trite to say, but hang in there.
~ Mel
I'm sorry to hear this. I know you and Dakota will do everything you can to help her and it sounds like the school is also going to be great.
Thanks for sharing...it seems you certainly are on the right track. Kaylen is lucky that her mom is tackling the problems headon and immediately. You have already assembled a capable team and with the resources/tools for Special Needs kids out there surely Kaylen will soon be able to enjoy school.Lorna d'Entremont
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