I'm heartbroken over the trouble Kaylen is having with school. I honestly thought she would have no trouble at all and it would easily become life. Instead, it is ripping both her and my hearts into pieces. I say and do the right things. I'm upbeat and positive and still.......
Today they had to peel her off me screaming and crying. I told her I loved her and would see her soon and left. I could hear her screams echoing down the halls. Oh how I wanted to run back and grab her in my arms. I kept walking.
I worked on the PTO stuff I needed to get done and then went to the front desk and stood there. One of the secretaries said "They just called the counselor in for Kaylen." Tears sprang to my eyes. This is killing me.
I said "What if she keeps crying?" (apparently she cried almost the entire day yesterday, too) I was told they would call me to come get her. To which I replied "But then we have to go through all of this again tomorrow only it will be ramped up because she will know she can come home. That's not an ideal outcome." Both secretaries nodded their heads.
*sigh*
I gathered up my stuff and Kelton (he is claiming a sore throat and when we looked in his throat it is red and the secretaries said sore throats, cough and fever is going around already. Awesome.) and walked by the kindergarten window. I saw Kaylen working with the counselor and two of the adults looked at me, gave thumbs up and I waved goodbye.
This sucks so much. I really wanted this to be easy for her. People at the school are surprised she is having such a hard time given that she knows the staff and the school inside out and backwards. Add me to that list. I never saw this coming but hey - that seems to be a common issue with me; I never seem to see things coming at me.
7 comments:
Oh no. I'm so sorry. That must be so hard. Hopefully it'll get easier for her after a couple of weeks but that doesn't help how hard it is now. I guess we can never know how kids will react in any situation. They're full of surprises.:(
Hugs! You know I am seriously right there with you right now. It is SO hard. J has two teachers in his room. One is very gruff and direct, but not mean by any means and has actually taken him under her wing. The other seems very sweet and soft spoken. Thankfully the soft spoken one is the one there at drop off and she took him from me crying today and took him to the window to wave goodbye. He does not do well with transitions and he is not very social. All I can hope is that he starts to settle in and this new experience will help him grow in those areas. But like you, all I want to do is run in and grab him and take him back to his old daycare where things are familiar. I have to say I am SO glad I made this switch now so hopefully we can get past things before Kinder. And remember, you're her safe place. Being with mom at school is a totally different ballgame then mom leaving you at school.
Casey,
There was a little girl in C's class last year who had a really hard time with separation and who really fell apart every morning. She had older sibs at the school too but being there alone was hard for her. K is also used to always being with one of you, so it's a big adjustment, she is just doing it now rather than at daycare or preschool when younger. Anyway, what worked for C's classmate was to have a few playdates with C - we went out and did things together with her mom - a movie, playground, etc. They are friends but not best friends but it really helped her comfort level in the morning according to her mom, maybe you could try that? Also just time. Can she bring a lovey or a family photo for her cubbie? She has sensory issues too, right? I think it's overwhelming to all kids but a bit more so for more sensitive kids who feel both more overwhelmed and more vulnerable being on their own and who might have a bit of a harder time with self soothing. One thing that works for C is drinking something thick, like a smoothie or nectar, out of a straw cup, it's very calming. You will all get through this. Hugs and good wishes to all.
Jennifer
Kids who do have sensory issues do have more trouble adjusting at first but they thrive in consistency and schedules.My youngest Nate would start crying when we saw me making lunches...all the way out the door and to school...it was hard but we did it.We went over everyday what would happen...the schedule for the day for Kindergarten.We talked about the parts he liked and the fun things they did. It took a good 3 weeks but he did well after he learned the schedule. What I learned later is setting up a board with the activities of that particular day will show her what is going to happen at school.
Hugs to you and Kaylen coming your way! I was thinking about the problem you and Kaylen are having and I'm going way out on a limb here, but could she be afraid of what she is missing, not being with you all day. I mean, you are a super Mom and maybe she thinks you are doing all that neat stuff you use to do when it was just the two of you. I know you always tried to be sure, when you were out and about doing errands, that you managed to fit in some things that Kaylen liked to do. Going to the playground or Mom's group, or going into the bookstore or the mall, etc. Kids are weird little creatures and they don't alwas think, like we think. Maybe she is not just missing you, but maybe she thinks you are doing all the things she loves without her. Does that make sense? I really liked the idea Kerry had of setting up the board with the activites that she will be doing the next day but why not extend it and put up your activities too. Something like, while you are reading your books, I'll be doing laundry and while you are playing on the playground, I'll be scrubbing the kitchen floor. Not only will she see that you are not doing all the fun stuff without her (because remember you did all that fun stuff when Kelton was at school), but that you will actually be doing things that she didn't do with you anyway. If nothing else, she can think, " oh, we get to go to the library now, that means Mom is looking for jobs online or at the bank, or some other boring task.
In other words, promise her that you won't do anything fun until she gets out of school.
Another thing I think you might try, is to tell her is how much you miss her when she is away at school. That could lead into a conversation of something that would make you feel better when you get sad and miss her. Maybe you could each make a "sad card" like a birthday card that each of you could look at whenever you are sad. One last thing and then I'm out of ideas, but I use do kiss Elizabeth's palm and then carefully roll her fingers into a fist and remind her that if she got missing me, she could open her hand and get her saved kiss. I don't think that is an original idea, I think I saw it in a movie, but it always made Elizabeth smile.
Lots of Love,
Lynn York in IL
It will pass. Riley used to be awful to drop off at daycare when she was little and now she is happy. Some kids take a couple of weeks to adjust. She has only been with you so it's a change. I was the same way when I went to pre-school. I think you're just experiencing this now because she hasn't had daycare or real time apart at a school, right? I see that someone else said the same thing. So trust us when we say it's normal and it'll pass. Before you know it, she'll be easy to drop off.
Hi Casey, just wanted to share this with you. On Erik's first day of school, they read a book called "The Kissing Hand". I've never read it but it's about a raccoon going to school for the first time and how he finds comfort. Erik has talked about it quite a bit and it might be a good one for Kaylen since she's struggling (if the school or you haven't already read it to her). Here's a link: http://www.amazon.ca/Kissing-Hand-Audrey-Penn/dp/1933718005
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