I know I haven't posted in a few days and I know you all knows that means I could be going either way - up or down. I'm doing ok. Really. I've been keeping busy which doesn't allow much time for blogging - well that, and I don't have a lot to say right now which is actually good. It means things are relatively calm inside me and I like it that way.
The kids are ok. Kelton is having trouble and I am working with his teachers and school counselor to make sure he is able to talk to non-family to work through some of his anger issues. The thing with Kelton and anger is he can show it aggressively on the outside but mostly right now he has turned it in on himself. I think it's because he is afraid to actually tell us he is angry at us. I keep telling him it's ok to be angry at us and that both of us will understand. It will in no way change our love for him if he is angry at us.
Mostly he is physically taking it out on his clothes. He has destroyed three pair of jeans in a week and a half at school. Apparently he is shoving a pencil through the material and then ripping the legs from top to bottom. He is chewing on his shirts and making holes.
The counselor and I had a nice chat yesterday and I suggested that she not try to sit him down to talk because he doesn't do that well so she ended up taking him outside to play wall ball and he was able to scream and yell things each time he hit or kicked the ball. He told me he felt much better afterwards. So clearly he needs to physically get his feelings out. Hopefully this will help him process and get to where he is ok.
Kaylen, on the other hand, just has full on tantrums that, when they are over and she collapses in my arms crying it all tumbles out. As frustrating as her tantrums are, I'm glad she can tell me what is happening inside her so I can reassure her that everything is going to be fine.
I am actually more worried about Kelton than I am Kaylen. It would make me feel so much better if he could verbalize his feelings instead of turning them inward but at least we have a plan and Dakota is on board with doing what it takes to make sure the kids are ok.
So really? All in all, it's moving along.
9 comments:
It's rough on kids when they go through a divorce. My middle child was 3 when I divorced and he was angry, sounds a lot like Kelton, as far as the turning it inward. It's hard for us to see our kids unhappy, but it sounds like you are handling the kids and helping them with their feelings in a very good way. hugs to you all.
It really sounds like you are doing the right thing for your kids Casey - giving them a safe place to let it out will make all the difference for them in their adult lives. Hang in there Casey!!
Casey, is Kelton still doing Karate? That could be a physical outlet for him. I am sorry about Kaylen, she sounds like a lot of your hugging is what she needs-you are doing such a good job addressing their needs. I hope you give yourself a hug too.
sallysramble.blogspot.com
did you read that blog that I sent you??? seems they are going through the same thing......all of you will get through this.....love ya
I am really glad that Kelton can get it out while being outside and physical. I'm more and more realizing that's the case with boys. Sit them down and you get nowhere, but talk to them while doing something physical and it makes all the difference.
This breaks my heart. I know this must be so hard on them. I am just so happy that they have moms who recognize their feelings and work with them. You both are far beyond a lot of others.
Heidi
ugh, sorry. Declan also chews and pokes holes in his clothing...a totally new thing for Kelton?
Sally, No Kelton isn't in karate anymore. His 7 months were up, it's a whole lot of money AND he and I both needed a break from the 2x a week class.
Mimi: I haven't yet, but I will.
Declan's Mom: This is new for him. He started chewing on his shirts a few months back but this is a whole new level.
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