You've Got to be Pooping Me?!?!

Oh my goodness.

Let me start out by telling you the back story. Kaylen saw me getting some Little Swimmer swim diapers ready to go to a friend as we have no further need for them and they are just taking up precious space. She, of course, had to have one. Or two. I drew the line at three. She proceeded to put one on even though I said she was too big for them and that they did not hold pee and were only meant for keeping poop from kids, who are not yet potty trained, out of swimming pools. She didn't really need them because she has been potty trained for a long, long time. She says she understand all that but wants to wear one anywhere. Ok - whatever. Who is it going to hurt, right?

So far so good.

Fast forward to 30 minutes ago (about two hours and two successful potty trips since putting on the swim diaper).

I hear rustling around in the bathroom but pay little attention as the kids, both potty trained and able to handle all but the finishing part of pooping by themselves, are in and out of the bathroom all day. The stool moves from its usual place to in front of the sink and back again many times a day. Water runs as they wash their hands. I'm used to it and pay little attention. When they yell "Mom! I'm done!" I tend to their needs and we go about our lives.

I hear "I'm done, Mom!" so I go in to help. Except......

EXCEPT!!!

Poop. Poop on little hands. Poop in and on the potty chair. Poop smeared on the toilet seat. Poop on the stool. Poop on the counter and in the sink.

Oh. My. Hell.

I am a novice at this. Neither child has been poop explorers (thank God!). I am stopped dead in my tracks. I can't really think and I can't really understand what this tiny child is trying to explain.

Something about not getting there in time...poop in her swim diaper so she picked it up (!) and put it in her potty and then she had to wash her hands but it's still on her and ..."Mommy - can you help me please?"

I snap to and wipe her hiney. I grab a wash cloth and I do a preliminary wipe down of her hands and a quick swipe of the counter and sink. Then I turn on the hot water and lather her hands, get her clean and scoot her out of the bathroom.

Oh dear. Where to even begin?

I grab the sanitizer wipes and start with the floor. Grab another one and clean the sink and counter. A third takes care of the stool and the toilet. Finally....finally...it's cleaned up and I feel pretty good that I have gotten rid of the poop germs.

I think I'm traumatized though. And I think I've sprouted a few more gray hairs. Pass the anti wrinkle cream please.

Oh. My.