Dancing on the Edge

Random Stuff for a Friday

Our 4th turned out well. Instead of having just Dakota's mom and step-dad over we ended up with her sister, brother-in-law, nephew, his wife and their two little ones. Their daughter is 6 weeks younger than Kaylen and their son is 2 months old and our the kids were in heaven to have someone else to play with! (Their little cousin is about a head taller than Kaylen - reminds me how itty bitty my girl really is!) The nephew's family currently live in California and this was a spur of the moment trip up so they could check out a house they saw on-line and are interesting in renting when the move back to the area in about three weeks. So we had a full house but it was ok (if you know me in real life, you probably know I'm not all that comfortable in large gatherings and even though I love Dakota's family; it's still hard for me to have everyone here. All the prep work, the stress when people are here, staying on top of the kids to be sure they are behaving, etc. and the clean up after...well...I tend to get lost in the stress of things and have a hard time having any fun). I got to hold the new baby a lot which made me verrrrrry happy (and Dakota took on the lion's share of the post-food cleanup. Thank you honey!). I am really missing having a tiny baby around so it was nice to just sit and snuggle one for a while. :)

The kids stayed up to watch the firework displays which are plentiful in our neighborhood. Things started around 9:45 but by 10 Kaylen was begging to go inside because it was "too roud!" She and I watched them inside for about 10 more minutes and then she was asking to go to bed. Poor thing was tired and I couldn't blame her at all. She'd been up since 7 and had been going gang-busters all day). Kelton wasn't far behind in the "I'm getting too tired to do this any more" arena and he was out like a light by 10:30. Oh but to hear them talk about it yesterday you would have thought they watched hours and hours of it. Pretty cute, that's for sure.

In other news; Dakota's dad was moved into the hospice facility Tuesday afternoon. The reality is starting to hit Dakota and I'm sure she is just a mess of internal emotions. She went down to visit him on the 4th and then we all went yesterday. He is mostly just sleeping now and the caregiver broke the news while Dakota was in the room with her sister that their dad has developed pneumonia and it's just a matter of days. I remember that feeling well - the not wanting the person to die but not wanting them to linger as they are. It's a hard place to be.

The kids and I wandered around the place. It's huge and really, really nice. We were in the art room for a while but I have to say, reading all the art projects and letters on the walls practically made me lose it. My pain is way too fresh and I know I haven't really worked through everything yet - for me, it's easy to stay in denial. In my mind, I still see my mom laying in her bed in the room of the adult family home where I spent so many weeks with her. I don't know why but that's just the way it is for me. When reality cracks through my wall of denial, I tend to struggle.

When we were in the family room (a gigantic living room with attached kitchen - seriously beautiful!) the kids were playing with the checkers and chess set and a woman came in to make phone calls. She was crying and crying as her mom was dying and things were really picking up speed. It was impossible not to overhear so once she ended her call I told her how sorry I was about her mom - and then I proceeded to fall apart a bit. I told her I lost my mom not quite 2 months ago and that I know how hard these last weeks are and how much I understand the wanting to run back home where it's safe (she is from out of state) but that when all is said and done, she will be really glad that she was there until the end and that she won't regret a single second of it. We cried a bit and then she asked why we were there if my mom was already gone so I told her that we were there because my partner's dad was there. She was shocked and lamented on how it isn't fair that we are facing two such big losses back to back. She was a really nice woman and I have been thinking about her a lot because I know how difficult it is to be in her shoes. I hope she finds peace.

After that we ran an errand and while there, we picked up a couple party things; plates, cups, novelty things and a cake. The kids had been asking to play party (a very common thing in our house) so we held a little party and sang happy birthday to everyone. I even made some balloon animals. They loved it! It never ceases to amaze me how simple it is to make them head over heels delighted.

The rest of the day was just regular family time. Dakota got in the pool with them for a bit and we just hung out together. I have photos, of course, but I haven't uploaded them yet. I will later today but I have to end this, get my workout in, get all of us ready and the house straightened up so the cleaning people can come and work their magic. We have no place to be today so the kids and I will just hang out in the backyard while they are here. I hope it isn't going to be as hot as the past couple of days.