Monday

I spent two hours this morning entering an online application for the State of Oregon. Since I am now in the system, the next time around it should only take about 20 minutes to apply for a position but this morning? That was intense. It's hard to balance the timed out screens on job applications against the needs of a restless 5 year old who wants mommy to play with her. This morning when I said "I can't right now, honey. I have to apply for jobs right now." She looked at me with those puppy dog eyes and said "But Mommy. You *always* do that and you never play with me anymore."

Would anyone like to remove the knife from my heart?

I know she doesn't understand the necessity of my finding a job, nor the impact it will have on her world, but it still gets to me.

I'm applying at a lot of medical establishments. It seems to be a field that keeps pushing forward. It makes me wish I could do something like go to medical assistant school or something specialized to give me an edge. But school? Not likely. That is adding to bills instead of reducing and there is no way I am even remotely in a place to do something like that.

So onward we go in the job hunt. It feels never ending and I am ready for a bit of forward motion.