I have had a not-so-great weekend. I'm in a funk and can't seem to get out of it right now. You know that "the deck is stacked against you" feeling? Yeah. I got it and for no particular reason. I mean seriously, you would think I would be used to the state of affairs in my life (no job, rejection, being overwhelmed, exhausted, etc.) that I would just come to accept it and know that it is what it is.
And yet. And yet I want it different. I want someone to call on the many applications I submit each week. I want someone to say "I see potential and I'm willing to take a risk on you." But nope.
Yes, I have tons of things to be grateful for....and I am, believe me. I know it could be worse and I am very thankful it isn't. I'm healthy (enough) to be able to live my life, my kids are fantastic and amazing and healthy, no one in my family is dealing with a horrible disease. I have people who support me in many various ways.
So why do I have this overwhelming feeling to run for the hills? Fight or flight and I'm tired of fighting. I guess that's what it is.
I need a break (which, yes, I know is ironic considering I don't have a job), a weekend at the beach, time with friends to just be silly and laugh....or cry. Whichever. I need a break from the stress and the worry of how this is all going to turn out.
Because this life? Not really turning out the way I dreamed it would.
6 comments:
Sorry it's been rough. Just curious but are you applying for only a certain kind of job or would you consider a job that is not in your field until you get something else? Maybe work retail or something???
Stacey the only thing with retail is Casey would have to work all kind of weird hours and with her not having someone to take care if the children in the evening I don't think that would work out....again...she will find something....hang in there casey
There are day shifts at various jobs--I was thinking more like something that would work out Monday-Friday. Just thinking that when the job market stinks maybe it'd be better to take something temporarily and be in the working field.
And couldn't Dakota help with watching the kids if there were evening shifts?? She's days right??
Just wondering. I know how it feels to job hunt trust me. I have been outsourced twice and laid off once...not fun.
Oh I wish D would help but then again when you are divorced you can not always count on the other person....and how many retails are only monday to friday? most of them are weekends.....I hope casey finds something I think she will feel so much better.....heres to you casey in finding something......
In my area (not the U.S.)some retail jobs use students for evening and weekends. Just a thought!!
Yes, that's what I meant. I didn't imply that they are only open during school hours--I was saying that some places will allow you to work certain shifts. A lot of those places do use students for the evening/weekend hours and adults for the day shifts. That's all I meant. And she isn't the only parent so I wondered if there was any issue with a weekend or evening shift from time to time, couldn't Dakota help out? I was just thinking that there might be temporary options so that finances aren't so tough.
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