The leaves are beginning to fall from trees in the neighborhood and almost everyone's grass is a lovely shade of brown (or nearly so). I stopped in at a store today and saw rack upon rack of winter coats and clothes. At another store I found row upon row of autumn decorations and yes, even some Halloween stuff.
Autumn is coming. There is no stopping it.
This used to be my favorite time of the year. The ads would start to be filled with winter clothes, the back to school rows would make me almost giddy. I would already be planning when I would haul out the autumn decorations from the attic (which frankly causes my panic for a whole other reason) so the kids and I could decorate.
Not this year. This year? Today it caused an all out anxiety attack. Autumn. How can it be coming so quickly?
Months ago when I dared to peek down as far as September, I saw things much differently than they are right now. Last year at this time? I never would have guessed where I would be today.
The changing seasons have brought fear and panic and this one is no different....except the intensity it building.
How could a season I enjoyed so much in years gone by strike terror in the here and now?
3 comments:
If you think about it fall is a season of many changes. The fall you had last year brought more changes that you ever thought.It could be that maybe you think the same thing could happen again this year? I hope you find some inner peace and enjoy this time of year. Don't let events of the past rob you of the joy of the now and future. Much easier to write than live...
When we were little and we got scared, we would run to our Mothers and they would make everything OK. Fear and anxiety just make a viscious circle. Know you are loved and we are just a phone call away. Talk it out over and over to as many people as you have phone numbers for and it will shrink smaller and smaller until you can handle it. Hugs ((((((((((((((Casey)))))))))))))
Di and Lynn
In the year after M left, everything was a "first". First Christmas without her, first spring, first birthday. This was a special time of year for you and the first one you've been single for. I sucked at decorating that first year. Don't sweat it if you can't do as much or anything at all. I know, easier said than done. You will make it through to the other side tho.
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