Lately I've been reading blogs where the author writes down 100 interesting tid-bits about themselves so since I'm not eager to commit to 100 items, I thought I'd shake up the game a bit and change it to 25 Truths. I encourage all those who haven't yet played the game to do so on your blog (or in the comment section here for those who are blog-less (Brenda!)).
Here goes:
1. I always hated my birth name so I changed it 12 years ago. However lately I've been missing my "old identity" and toy with the idea of changing it back. I probably won't though - it's a lot of work to change your name. The thing that really gets me is I use my former name when I think about who I am to myself. Sometimes I even do a stutter-step when I make phone calls - it's like "Oh man! Who the heck AM I?" But that's a question for another day. :)
2. I love my daughters name but I rarely use it. I call her: the baby, my girl, my daughter, little one, baby sister, baby, your daughter, your sister, etc. I don't know why that is and it bugs me.
3. My mom drives me nuts and I'm terrified I will turn into her and that my kids will feel the same way about me as I do about her.
4. I'm scared of dying - not so much the act of dying as the fear of leaving all that I know and the people who mean so much to me.
5. My biggest regret is the years I spent in California.
6. Before my relationship with D, I used to cheat on my partners and then end up leaving them for the new person. Serial monogamy, I think is the name.
7. I have never, ever, ever cheated on D. Though I have had small crushes along the way. I've just never had a desire to mess things up this time around.
8. I was actually single and living on my own for 6 months before I met D.
9. I would love to be legally married to D. I was - for a whole year before the state of Oregon overturned it.
10. I miss having D home with us in the evenings
11. Sometimes I fear I am the worst parent on the planet.
12. My sister bugs me but there is no one else's approval I want more. I really hate that feeling. I honestly think I will never be good enough.
13. I have learned one thing in all my years: Nothing is absolute. The world is not black and white but instead it's varying shades of gray. Just because something is true for me doesn't mean it is for everyone. And just because I have decided something should go a certain way, doesn't mean it actually does.
14. Every situation is different and should be judged on its own merits. Again, it's the varying shades of gray thing.
15. People you think are your friends can, and sometimes will, be cruel.
16. I have a tendency to torment myself with things I should have said or done in different situations. I still have something from years and years ago that bugs me and I'm *still* wishing I had said something I didn't.
17. The times I torment myself with #16 is usually in the dead of night when I can't sleep.
18. I have used illegal drugs in the past.
19. I do not enjoy alcohol.
20. I like to be in control and I like things in a certain way.
21. I hate when my house is messy and yet, with kids it's impossible to stay on top of it all the time.
22. I don't enjoy being the center of attention.
23. I love getting presents. I mean REALLY love getting presents.
24. It's hard to have a December birthday because it gets lost in the shuffle of Christmas. I really hate getting Christmas cards that say "By the way, Happy Birthday."
25. I love having friends and I cherish my friendships.
I probably have more truths but for now I'm done. I am reserving the right to re-blog my truths should that be what I decide. :)
7 comments:
Casey, so what is your birth name? And I hae the same death fear. It took over my brain last year and had me so depressed for a month.
Casey... I cannot imagine you with your birth name. I think you are right, it TOTALLY does NOT suit you. It surprises me you've thought of changing it back. Does D feel the same way (on both accounts)?
I hate when my house is messy too, and I don't even have two kids to blame it on.
You are not the worst mom on the planet. Not by a long shot.
So, is that six months you lived on your own the only time you've ever lived on your own? I have never ever lived by myself... well, my dad pretty much moved onto the boat and left me home alone from the time I was 14 on, but I never really lived by myself. I don't think I would like it.
And I have heard you use your daughter's name many times. :)
I may have to do this myself, what a great idea.
Very cool to read! I like your 25 version better than the 100. Still overwhelming, but not as much.
Catherine,
It was Tricia. :)
E,
I don't know how D feels baout the name thing - I've never asked her. And yes, those 6 months was the only time I've lived alone.
Casey, you were very open and honest in your answers.
I don't think I could be. Which is probably why I don't have a blog....
Cristin -
No D's name is not D....get this, it was actually Cindy. :) The funny thing is we had decided to change our names before we even met each other. Weird!
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