A Much Better Day Was Had By All

Today was a much, much, much, much (did I mention much?) better day. After feeling like the world's worst parent yesterday (and wondering what type of life changing damage I was doing to my children by my inability to cope) I decided to alter the way our days have been going. It seems to have had a positive effect - though still not without its challenges (but that's to be expected). I focused on the prince a lot. I watched his beloved TV shows with him instead of settling down with my cup of coffee to read email while he was entertained (no small sacrafice, I'll have you know. I love Higglytown Heroes, Clifford and Mr. Rogers as much as the next guy but a steady diet of them I cannot take).

We played Candyland (as best as a 3 year old can play), Playdoh, and various other things. We read and played outside. Took a trip to the post office (E - keep an eye out for your package) and stopped by our favorite coffee stand for a chocolate chip cookie (the prince's all time favorite thing to do) and an iced coffee drink (my all time favorite). I even sewed the Thomas the Tank Engine quilt I'd been planning to make for him and fixed the binding on his favorite blanket. I even tried, in vain, to fix the mobile he cut apart (I'm stil working on figuring out a solution, Brenda). Between the two kids, I took next to no time to do anything for myself. The day flew by in a blur of child centered activities, like it used to when I didn't have high speed internet. It was good and yet - I missed my connection to the outside world. I missed checking my emails, the blogs of friends and the message boards I regularly visit. I missed adult interaction and yet, my child thrived.

Is there a happy medium? I hope so because honestly I can't be 100% child-centered all the time. I do need some activities that feed my needs for a social outlet. Afterall, isn't it true that if you give all you have to your children and don't replenish yourself then you can no longer give them the best of you?

Sure- I'm the first to admit that the internet has been sucking up a lot of my time lately but I also know that I don't get the social interactions that people get when they work outside the home. I have to find that somewhere. I have my moms group and my playgroup but that only account for about 3-4 hours a week. Hardly enough. And yet, part of my feels incredibly selfish. I love these two little beings more than anything and there isn't anything I wouldn't do for them - that goes without saying. It's just that I also need a bit of time thrown in for me and since there is no solid block of time in any given day that is all mine, I have to squeeze it in along the edges (I'd love a lunch hour and two 15-minute breaks!). I just need to find the right balance because it's clear that we need to have better days than the one we had yesterday.

It's going to be a challenge to find time to do things for myself once D starts school (in FOUR short weeks). But if I don't - won;t the kids be the ones who suffer in the long run?

This mommy stuff is hard. Nothing is cut and dry and everything is as clear as mud.