Oh my. My three year old is outside (again) playing with water (again). This love affair with water from the hose has been going on since he was 15 months old. Water water water. It's everywhere. He christens his play structure, the patio, the house, the swings...everything. Every day. It drives me crazy and yet it makes him so happy and when you have a child - their happy moments are worth their weight in gold. So much of the day, or so it seems, I am constantly saying "No." "Don't do that." "Don't wake the baby." "Quiet please!" "No hitting." "No you can't." "You'll have to wait - I'm feeding the baby." Sometimes I feel like my son isn't getting all the attention he needs, wants and deserves. Heck - even my computer time cuts into time I could be spending with the kids. Ever since I got high speed (last month) I feel like I live on this thing. It's just so fun and it's so much easier to stay in contact with a world that I normally feel completely cut off from.
Anyway - the water. It's going to cost us a fortune and it's probably completely irresponsible considering the lack of snow pack and the below average rain fall we've had but like I said - it makes the boy beyond thrilled and happy.
....and 30 minutes later
I'm back to finish. We had an issue with the water and I had to play bad mom and turn it off. I don't know about you but I'm not a fan of the hose being sprayed in the house. :) After a mini-melt down, my water prince is watching Postcards from Buster and my little princess is hanging out in her exersaucer. Oy! Sometimes I'm not sure how I get through both kids melting down at the same time. The minutes feel like hours.
D will be home from work soon. Thank goodness. These days are fast coming to an end - who will be at the door to rescue me when the clock strikes 5? No one. I'm terrified. What if I can't do this by myself? I already feel like I can't but it's not like I have a choice. I had asked D to think about deferring for a year (which she could have done) so that the kids were older (which would definitely be easier on the little prince as he is all about the other mama. He worships the ground she walks upon) but she opted to not wait. There are days when she will say "I shouldn't be going to school this fall. I don't know how you are going to do all of this alone. I should have waited." I try to stay calm when I say "Yeah - that would have been nice but you made the choice not to." All the while I am silently screaming at the top of my lungs "NO FREAKIN' KIDDING! I did everything but beg you not to start this year. Don't lay this on me now - I told you this wasn't the best of timing. I don't take responsibility for this decision." Part of me is pissed off that she didn't take my concerns to heart. Ok - a big part of me. Mostly I'm just scared to do this alone. Maybe this situation will surprise me and it will all come easily and naturally to be alone so much of the time. Yeah - like that is going to happen.
Sheesh- I could prattle on and on and on but why bore you right out of the gate? (E - are you *sure* you're going to read a blog that I write? Guess we'll see.)
Ok - that's it for now. I should get back to all the things that need my attention: the kids, laundry, setting out the breakfast dishes and animal food for the morning - all those never ending chores of life. At least I don't have to do a lot of cleaning.....we have a house cleaner for that. So far, that is the ONLY perk of D going to school. It sure is a good perk though! :)
2 comments:
I promised I would read it, and it's not boring! Although I don't see WHY you would not let KJ bring the hose in the house... I am sure KL would have a blast getting pelted by her big bro!
D starting school is a good step for you guys. It's what she wants to do (though I don't know why, but I am stocking up on my lawyer jokes now!) and it will mean more security for you guys... in the end it will mean MORE time together. Hey, I quite teaching to create more security for us... sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do. Maybe she feels if she doesn't go now, she never will. I know how hard THAT is. I've come to the conclusion I might never go back and finish my masters, but the baby was more important.
Chin up, you can do it. You are an awesome mom and you know that. KJ will be just fine, and the weekends will be even more special.
Hell, it's only four years. Now apply that to when you first found out you were pg with KJ... that was 4 years ago... and over a year ago with KL. So you see, it's not THAT long!
E
Sweetie, huge hugs to you!!!!!!!!! I have so much admiration for you now being a SAHM with two kids. It won't be easy alot of the time when D starts school, but I bet as the kids get a little older it won't be as crazy. I'm used to doing it on my own, but I only have one and I'm not at home all day, so I'm wishing you all the best.
Have you thought about ways that you can carve some time for yourself after D is in school? Maybe Kelton could go to preschool part-time? Or maybe there are mother's day out programs that would take both kids?
Hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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