A Few Minutes of Quiet...and then not

I know what you're thinking, E. You're thinking "Instead of writing go read your Harry Potter book! How are you ever going to get it read if you don't freakin' START it?" Yeah yeah - I know BUT..........hmmm..I guess I don't really have an excuse except "I don't wanna." Lame, huh? :)

I want to read it but I also want to write and read emails and feel well...connected to the world of muggles. :)

So - here's how my day is shaping up......
The little prince woke bright and early (ugh!) at 6:20AM. I wake to him standing on D's side of the bed, little tears in his eyes asking "Where's Mama?" Mondays are the hardest mornings for us. I tell him she's at work and he gives me a sad little look. Soon we are up and out of the room so as not to wake the sleeping princess. We head out for a little quiet TV time (and a few cups of coffee to shake the cobwebs from my brain).

Later in the morning, while the princess takes her morning nap and after I have taken my shower, the little prince plays "Monster Under the Bed" and entices me to play along. Luckily, these are nice monsters so we are able to have a pleasant little chat with them. When I first explained that I wasn't sure I wanted to talk with monsters and showed him my scared face, he looked at me and said sternly "Only pretend, Mama." I think it's so funny that he "gets" what is pretend and what is not.

Then came time to get him dressed for the day. It's going to be 92 today and it was already creeping up on 80 and what does my prince insist on wearing? Long sleeves and sweats. No, I'm not kidding. And remember from earlier posts....we don't have A/C. I try my best to get him into shorts and a t-shirt but he insists and I try to remember that I must pick my battles and really, in the end does it really matter? Nope. Though I try one more compromise: ok on the long sleeves but let's go with shorts. He looks at me and then finally, reluctantly agrees. Until naptime. Then he insists on wearing sweats. Fine. *sigh* (I think this might be a genetic thing - my brother once spent the entire summer of his third year wearing long sleeves, long pants, gloves and a hat. Or - maybe it's a weird three-year-old thing.)

The princess has learned to play peek-a-boo which I find hysterical. She will pull a piece of fabric over her face and then pop it down with a huge smile. I'll say "Pee-a-Boo!" and she will laugh for all she's worth.

It's later now, much later....it's been a full day and I am whipped. The heat really makes me cranky and tired. I worked so hard to keep this house as cool as possible (no easy task, I'll have you know) but no sooner was D home from work than she was flinging open doors and windows. HELLO??? It's 94 outside and 80 inside. Yes, it's hot inside but IT'S HOTTER OUTSIDE!!!!!!! "Look." She says "There's a nice cool breeze. It's not that hot." Oh for crying out loud. It's STILL 94 degrees. That just pisses me off. I work all day long on making sure the prince doesn't leave the doors wide open when he is in the yard playing but all my work is undone in the blink of an eye. He looks at me suspiciously, as if to say "See? I told you it wasn't hot!" and then he proceeds to waltz out the back door - leaving it wide open behind him. Can you feel my frustration??

Ok and here's another vent. Friday is Moms Night Out for my moms group. It's the last one I'll be able to go to without hiring a babysitter as D will be in school. So the reality is, I probably will go to very, very few events because I don't really enjoy leaving the kids with anyone besides D (I will, if I have to but I don't like to). So she hits me with an email (because she *knows* I'm going to be upset) that says "Since you're going out I made plans to go out with N for a few hours." Ok THIS is what gets me.....it wasn't ok to ask her sister to come over and help her watch the kids while she paints the prince's room but it IS ok to have her come over to babysit so D can go out. WHAT? Last night she was making me feel guilty for wanting to go out because we had so much to do but now??

Lately, whenever I get some much needed time away from home/kids I get hit with "Since you did X, I'm going to be gone for 6 hours next Saturday for X" So basically, I feel like I'm being punished if I ever take time for myself because in the end, I wind up being alone with the kids for another day. It's almost to the point where it just isn't worth it and I think that is SO unfair!! D, of course, fails to see it that way.

And the kicker to my taking issue with this Friday is that it feels like she is constantly taking time away from the kids (and me) in these last few weeks before classes start. Once school is going, the kids will hardly ever see her and yet every time I turn around she wants to go to this event or this one or the one over here. Sometimes I feel like I talk but that no words actually come out because often I am feeling like my opinions/wants/needs ect are just not important to her.

Yeah yeah - I know that probably isn't right but it's how I feel.

And on that note, I'm signing off. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day and, please God, cooler.