Struggling

"When we lose the sadness part -- when all we do is happily scream "USA! USA! USA!” at news of yet more killing in a now unending back-and-forth war -- it’s a sign we may be inadvertently letting the monsters win."

I took this from a very well written posting from www.salon.com and I have to say, it sums up many of my thoughts on what is happening in the world right now. All the rejoicing and celebrating is just so wrong. It makes us no better - and damnit, I want to be better than dancing in the streets celebrating violence and death and murder.

The overwhelming age group I see celebrating? The 20-somethings. The people who were small children on that horrible September day. Do they even realize what they are doing? They have grown up seeing the street celebrations in other countries and maybe they think it's the right way to act....to behave. I just don't know.

I have really been struggling since I heard the news last night, and watched the coverage for the thirty minutes that I could take before my stress and anxiety levels shot through the roof. Today, the radio is full of the songs that were written right after 9/11. It all takes me right back in time and I feel no happiness or joy. Just anxiety and fear of what's to come. What's next?

These are the same "kick in the gut" feelings I had on 9/11 and in the months following that horrific day. Now what? Oh dear God...now what?

You all know as well as I do that this isn't the event to change it all. You should know, as I do, that there are plenty of others who had already taken, and will continue to take, the reigns on terror. Is this a step? Yes. Of course. A baby step. That's all there will ever be are baby steps in the war against terror. Teeny tiny baby steps.

So what now? What happens next?

I'm holding my breath and trying not to fall into the abyss of my own fear.