Well...let's say I'm not stellar right now. Physically, at least. Mentally and emotionally I am completely stellar. Ok - well, maybe not "stellar" since the physical interplays with those other two, but I'm still pretty good. It's the pain that has a grip on me right now.
I have to say, as much as I didn't want to believe this "flare up" would go full blown, it has and I am miserable. I've only had two other intense episodes like this: the first one was the one that sent me to the Emergency Room twice. And once was last year right about this time. Though honestly, I don't remember last year's episode being this bad. Maybe it's like labor where you just don't remember the intensity of the pain.
I have muscle relaxers which make me feel loopy. This morning I took one after I got the kids off to school and I swear to you; in less than 20 minutes I could barely stand being inside myself. And I know for sure I couldn't have said the words dlp lcd projectors let alone tell you when it is. (Truth be told, even without the medication I probably couldn't have told you.)
I just wanted to sleep. And I couldn't really do that because the muscle spasms in my back are firing right and left. It's so frustrating. If you have every been pregnant, imagine having the baby kicking you in the back over and over and over. It's kinda like that.
I start physical therapy on Monday and on Thursday I go in for my surgery. I tell you - life is overwhelming me a bit right now. So much going on and all I want to do it sleep through this episode and wake up when my pain level is back to its usual level.
The only good thing about the past 24 hours? I had a quart of Mocha Almond Fudge ice cream in the freezer that Stephanie brought over to me (Thanks, Stephanie!!!). And you know what? I ate the whole dang thing today. Oh yes I did.
They did, after all, recommend icing my injury and since my neck and entire back hurts, I decided the best route of cold would be from the inside out. At least, that's what I'm telling myself to ease my guilt over devouring the whole thing. :)