Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Extremely Tired

I hardly slept last night which surprises me because I was so tired earlier in the evening. But come time for lights out and I was wide awake. I watched more TV thinking it would tire me out as it usually does. Nope. I talked with Stephanie and said good night to her. No, still not tired. I shut off the lights in the hopes that if I faked it, it would sneak up on me. Nope.

I posted on Facebook and soon I had a text from a friend who also couldn't sleep. We text'd for 15 minutes and then said good night.

I tossed and turned and tossed and turned. My pain level was manageable so what was the deal?

I was up with the dogs at 4:30 and then I went back to bed and finally drifted off for a while. Then Kelton woke up and settled into my room to play on my laptop. I talked a little with him and then went and got my coffee. first. Then I decided to make their lunches and get things underway for the day. Then I had my coffee and shower.

I sent the kids off to school and got ready to go to physical therapy. I put in my time there and then groggily drove home. My eyes unable to focus clearly.

I crawled under the covers and thought I would drift off but nope. My brain started twirling full-tilt. I learned that the school district cut 180 teaching positions and I wonder how this will affect my children. I learned through Kaylen's teacher that class assignments won't be made until a week or so before school starts in the fall because no one knows who will be there and what grades they will be teacher. Kaylen's teacher is concerned how this will affect Kaylen. So am I. Pre-planning is paramount for a child like Kaylen. I will do what I always do, get her through. She has grown by leaps and bounds this year so hopefully she is ready for an unknown such as this. I will find the right time to tell both kids of the new developments. Today is not that day though.

Then my thoughts drifted to PTO things......emails waiting to be dealt with.....the crime of e pickpocketing....TV shows I have recorded I could be watching instead of laying with my eyes closed driving myself crazy.

I feel like a child who is too tired to sleep. This is the first time since giving birth to the children that I have had surgery and the first time since my back fusion when I have been under general anesthesia. Is this an expected outcome from that? I don't know because my back surgery was all consuming and my pain was off the chart. I slept constantly. Fell asleep at a moments notice. This is different.

Not to mention I have the fear of the unknown going on still.

The kids will be home soon (early release Wednesday). Maybe once they are home I will feel more "on kilter". Or....I'll be even more tired within an hour or so. :)

The weather is beautiful. Stephanie just text'd and ask if she could stop by on her way home from work (it's early release day for her son, too). My kiddos will be home soon. Here's hoping for a good afternoon.

And sleep tonight.

1 comment:

Tanya said...

Our district is like your, lots of cuts. Be careful about breaking the news to Kaylen super early, or she might stress about it all summer long. Which in turn will make it worse when the time comes. I think that's what happened with J's new school. This time, he knows he going into Kinder, but we really don't discuss it much.

I was like that a lot after my surgery too, felt super tired, but hard to sleep.