Saturday, February 12, 2011

Dating and Whatnot

Oy. My life is complicated. More so than I want. I am trying hard to find inner peace or whatever you call it, but people seem so threatened by that. Why is it when you change things about yourself it sends people into a tailspin?

Let's talk dating, shall we? Isn't the purpose of dating to find out if the person you are seeing is the one for you? Isn't it to give it time to see how it all shakes out once the newness wears off and real life settles in? I get that dating is a foreign concept for most people - it seems like now everyone is doing the "meet - term it a relationship - and move in to live happily ever after" routine. Not just the lesbians either.....everyone. Just watch your Facebook relationship status updates, it's amazing and sad.

The U-Haul joke seems universal. And I am against it.

This flies in the face of what many think but here's the deal: I don't care what people think. If I settle down in a relationship it damn well better be a relationship that will stand the test of time. Maybe those of us who feel this way should initiate conference calls so can feel less alone. But then, maybe I'm alone in this - I don't know.

I am not in my early 20's. I am not child-free. I bring a lot of "baggage" to the table. I have all these things that need to be finessed into a relationship. It has to be right. It has to be something that feeds my soul and allows me to still be me. I need to be head over heels crazy for the person. It needs to be low drama because really? Who needs that?

So maybe, for me at this point in my life, I don't want a "relationship". Maybe, right now, I want to have fun and take life less seriously.

I used to have a notepad that said "Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly." I want to fly.


Mimi said...

You will find someone when you are not looking.......

Pam said...

Mimi is right - but you have your head on straight, so when the right one comes along you will be able to ride out the heart that goes helter-skelter!
Life your life and love will find you.

Cindy said...

Be careful of your limits. Your life is FULL of drama and you don't want anyone just writing you off. I hate to say that but it is going to be hard to find anyone who will deal with the issues you have and how you are with the kids. Sorry... but it is true.

Kristen said...

Do people ask you, "Are you seeing anyone?" and then say, "Oh, sorry" or "Oh, that's ok" when you say no? Apparently being single is tragic and we are to be pitied. Believe it or not, some people can be perfectly happy being single. Some people can enjoy going on a few dates knowing the person isn't going to be their Happily Ever After.

Next time someone tells me they're married/engaged/partnered, I'm gonna say, "Oh, that's ok."

(in case it didn't come across right, I'm agreeing about having fun and taking life less seriously)

Jen said...

I think your philosophy is the right one for almost everyone, but especially for single parents. I wish I'd been more focused on having fun and less focused on being in a relationship when I was single.

Re: Cindy's comment about "you don't want anyone just writing you off..." YES, you do. Of course you do. Anyone who would consider writing you off is not the right one for you. It will save everyone a lot of time and heartache if the "relationship" is nipped in the bud. Be who you are and stay focused on the kids (which I know you couldn't avoid doing even if you tried) and the right person will be there at the right time.

In the meantime, live it up!!!

(No idea about "how you are with the kids." Very odd wording.)