The day dawned overcast and drizzly. Perfect. Because, you know, I am not having enough trouble with the transition from summer time to school time. Today is the last full day of summer. The last summer night. Tomorrow is open house at the school and then home to bed so we can wake to the 6:30 alarm clock which will signal the official end of lazy summer morning and will begin the hectic school schedule.
Rush rush rush. Not enough time. Never enough time.
Let it be stated that I am going, kicking and screaming, into this change.
Kaylen states she is ready for it. Kelton and I have having trouble. Short fuses and tears from both of us are plentiful today. Change is hard.
Being as how Mother Nature decided to pull the rug out from under my denial today, I decided it might help me feel better (and, let's be honest, surrender to the changes) to pull out the fall decorations. This was not as easy as it seems.
Last year, the person who helped me store the fall, Halloween and Christmas decorations threw a kink in my being able to get them out. In years passed, when putting everything up in the attic, the Christmas boxes went in first, then Halloween then fall. The reason being it was easier to access the boxes of needed decorations in order.
Ummm...yeah. Halloween and fall were shoved in the far reaches of the attic space and the Christmas boxes impeded being able to even get into the attic.
Add to that, I *won't* climb up into the attic, Kelton has a fear of heights and Kaylen, while eager to get up there, is just too short. Damn.
I called a neighbor boy this afternoon and he popped over and crawled up there. After much moving of things, he located the fall and Halloween bins and handed them down to me. He earned $10 for about 15 minutes of work but at least I have my decorations and I didn't have to break myself to get them.
About 15 minutes later, I had the fall decorations in place. Remember how I thought it would help make me feel better...you know...jumping in with both feet? It does not.
Once upon a time, three and more years back (all my life, actually), fall used to be my favorite time of year. A time to begin anew. Now, as in very recent years, it is filled with dread, fear, anxiety and panic.
Some day I hope it is again a time I love.
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