Monday Morning

Surprise, surpise. I'm up early. I was really hoping I would sleep a nice long time last night but nope - apparently 11:00pm to 3:00am is enough sleep. It doesn't help that the dogs decided that 3 was a good time to move from sleeping on the couch in the living room to sleeping with me on my bed. And of course Jordan needed to go outside. And well...once my brain is awake, that's it for me. Thoughts start swirling and I may as well forget about ever getting back to sleep.

Last night's transition from Dakota to me was a bit easier on the kids. Kelton seemed fine with it (though we all know he isn't) but after she left he was exceptionally clingy and during his bath asked me a few times if I would ever stop loving him and if there was ever a time I might and what if he did something bad, would I stop then? How about if he was mad at me or hated me. Would I stop then? I assured him over and over that I would never, ever stop loving him. I even turned his little face up towards mine, looked him right in the eyes and told him that no matter what he ever did or said I would never, ever stop loving him. Even if I was angry with him, I would never, ever stop loving him.

He kept eye contact for a minute and I could see something flash behind his eyes (relief?) and then he smiled and said "Ok." and went back to his bath.

I asked if he and Mom had had talked about this over the weekend and he said they had. I guess he just wanted to be sure from both of us that if he was angry at us that it wouldn't make us stop loving him. Maybe he is processing some of his pain over the divorce.

Kaylen, in true Kaylen fashion, melted down when it was good-bye time. Dakota held her for a few minutes and then I held her but we managed to get through the goodbye easier than last time. She cried in my arms for a few minutes and then I got them both chattering about their weekend and she was ok.

They are actually going to see Dakota a little more this week that usual since Saturday is Kaylen's birthday party (Dakota is hosting it but my weekend worked out better for her family which is totally fine). Since getting ready for a birthday party takes all morning, Dakota will stay here Friday night so we can start cleaning and setting up the house and then on Saturday she will go pick up the cake, ice cream and balloons. After the party is cleaned up, she will take off.

This is the first birthday party for the kids that I haven't run from beginning to end and I have to say, I am enjoying not having the stress of it all on me. This is a new experience for Dakota - she has never planned the parties but she is doing a good job of pulling it together. Most importantly, Kaylen is happy and that's all that matters in the long run.

Last night as Kaylen was falling asleep she said "Mom? I think you better buy my birthday present this week." I said "Oh baby girl....I already have it." "Where?" she asked. "I'm not telling. It's a surprise!" "I bet it's in the garage, isn't it?" I refused to tell her and she smiled, turned over and went to sleep. She is very excited about turning 5.

I bought her a 24 pack of new PlayDoh since the stuff we have we got when Kelton was small and it's all pretty much the same color now. Last week when she was playing with it she said "I sure would like colorful PlayDoh." Ask and ye shall receive, little one. :)

And bonus! I don't need to find room for it. I'll just toss out the old stuff and replace it with the new. :)

I have a lot to do today. Well - "lot" being relative. I need to get a haircut (which Kaylen agrees with. When I mentioned it last night she said "Mom - your hair *is* a little wild today." She was very right. :)

I have a birthday gift to send off to a friend, I need to go to the vet to pick up more medication for one of the cats, call someone back about a PTO/School District event, wrap Kaylen's birthday gift, get birthday cards and work on some Valentine's Day stuff. All things that are hard to do with an almost 5 year old in tow but that's the way it goes. (And of course all my daily stuff around the house and working on the book fair stuff.)

Oh - and about that coat I mentioned needing? I went to Nordstrom yesterday in the hopes of finding something (and because well...I have a gift certificate for there (thank you, Stella!) but alas, coats are gone and replaced with (UGH!) swimming suits. REALLY? It was January 31st. Oh well - there is always next year....and by that I mean July or August when the coats come back out. :)