Summers End

Autumn has come. Summer is no more. At least, not in the real sense of the word and all it implies.

Dakota starts classes tonight and I will once again be alone with the kidlets all day and all evening and well past their bedtime. Truthfully, I'll be alone until about 30 minutes before my bedtime. Actually, I'd usually already be in bed by the time Dakota comes through the door but I'll stay up so we can have a teeny tiny bit of face time. It sucks.

Yesterday was a hard day for all of us. It was hard to watch the clock knowing the end was coming. The kids had a really hard time saying goodnight and good-bye last night. Dakota was as well. There were many tears from different people at differing times of the day yesterday. Change it hard. It will be four long days before Kaylen sets her eyes on her other mommy. Kelton will probably see her for 15 minutes in the mornings because he is an early riser. This will go on week after week after week.

Yes - we've done this before. For three years we've done this. And it has never, ever easy. Yes, this is the last year we'll have to do this particular dance. It still isn't easy.

The kids are older. That part is good. I'm going through this all again with a three year old - again. That part sucks and for those who have gone through the terrible three's, you know of what I speak. Kelton was three when we started this journey. Now Kaylen is three. I've had two three year olds to deal with mostly alone 24/6 during a three year period. There is a special place in heaven waiting, I have to believe that. :) Three's. Ugh. It's a hard age.

And if today isn't hard enough....let's just add to it that today is (would have been?) my mom's 70th birthday. And oh hey - if those two things aren't enough let's just pour this one top: Maddie the dog chewed through the fence in a back corner of the yard and escaped. Three hours, a trip to Home Depot (where I loaded in fence boards between the kids car seats and where Kelton, inside the store, decided he didn't need to listen to "Don't touch" and ended up knocking several very long, very loud metal pipes onto the floor bringing people running from all directions. Oh yes - it was a stellar moment!), many cuss words, bent nails and way too much frustration later, the fence is fixed and secured. Not exactly the way I wanted to start this adventure but hey - life is what it is.

So here we are. Year four of law school. Year four of being, in essence, a single parent. I'm not really ready but...ready or not here we go.