What Is It About People Who Think They Know It All?

They frustrate me. A lot.

My sister never raised children - the man she married had grown children when they got together and while she has spent lots of time around kids, she's never raised them, been completely responsible for everything about them or been in total control of their well-being.

Though she knows everything about anything....just ask her. :) I love her, don't get me wrong, but it's so hard to hold my tongue when she starts in with the "You need to send the prince to pre-school. He MUST go. It's the best thing for him and he needs to spend time away from you." or "Just wait - you aren't always going to be the center of his world - next year he'll be wanting to get away from you." or "You shouldn't let him stay up until D gets home from school. It's not good for him and he won't be able to function in the real world. When he's in school he just won't be able to stay up until 10pm. He'll have to just get used to it."

ARGH!!!!!!!!

I want to yell "How do you know? How do YOU know what's best for MY child? How do you know what our family needs and/or wants? And who gives you the rights to pass judgement on me and tell me I'm doing things wrong?"

Let's start with the first point: I don't NEED to send him to preschool. If he was wanting to go and really seemed like he was ready, I'd find a way to swing it for him but that isn't the case. He gets plenty of interaction with other children and we do things like crafts, imaginary play, etc. We take trips to the library, parks, etc. It's not like I keep him locked in his room without exposure to the real world or other people. And on top of that, he is doing fine. He can count to 20, he knows his colors and shapes. He is working on knowing the alphabet. He can play computer games like Clifford, Dora and Alphabet Express. He really is doing fine in all regards - though he isn't ready to be away from me yet. Should I force that on him? Heck - even if I should, I'm not going to. He has his whole life to be away from me and only 5 short years to be with me all the time. So does he NEED preschool? No. No, he doesn't. But if he wanted to go, or if I felt it was in his best interest, I would send him. Bottom line: my child, my choice.

The whole "you shouldn't let him stay up until D gets home" bugs me even more than preschool. So what? She thinks it's best for him to go 3 days without seeing D at all? All of the sake of going to bed one hour earlier? I believe that he needs to see D and spend time with her EVERY day - even if it's only 30 minutes. He needs to know she is there for him - he needs to know she is there - period.

Sure, this wouldn't work in some families. I know some people think I'm crazy to let him stay up but I also know my child and I KNOW he needs his other Mama. I would never, ever keep him from that if I dodn't have to. Sure - if she was coming in at 11pm, I'd be a little nuts to keep him up but it's really only an hour later than he usually would go to bed. On the days she will be late, he will go to bed before she gets home (case in point, last Thursday. He was asleep before she arrived home because her class was going over to make up for the Labor Day weekend). But you know? Even if I WERE crazy....isn't it my call to make? Again, my child, my choice. No one knows my children or my family the way I do. I am always going to do what is in their best interest - even if it means I get 30 minutes less of alone time.

And don't get me started on my co-sleeping with the princess. I know I thought I wasn't going to co-sleep this time around. I was going to be strong and have her learn to sleep alone, in her crib. She hated it and wouldn't sleep well. She sleeps much better next to me and I get more sleep when I can just roll over, nurse her and go back to sleep. I tried doing what I thought I should do in the best interest of my child but it turns out she had other plans, other needs....and I adjusted.

That's what being a parent is about. Adjusting to fit the needs of your children even if you never thought you'd do this, that or the other. Or even if you thought you would always do XYZ. You never know until you know. And those who do not have children will never truly know and will never truly understand.

So I just bite my tongue and say "That's a thought." or "Yeah - maybe I'll look into that."

PS...the same can be applied to people who have children who opt to parent in a different style. I don't, for a minute, think my ways are the only way but they are the ways that work best for my family. Clearly I have a lot of issues with being told what I should or shouldn't do, huh? :)