Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Where Are The New Posts?

I know that's what you are all thinking and I don't blame you. It's strange for me not to sit down and blog at least once a day. I've been preoccupied with all the stuff going on with my mom. It feels like I shouldn't just sit and think about regular ol' every day stuff with everything else swirling around me. It just feels so ...well..ordinary in the face of the extraordinary. If that makes any sense. I know it's important to stay with the every day too but everything still feels so new and well.....brightly colored. It's like my eyes haven't quite adjusted to everything. *sigh* I know - it makes no sense.

On top of all that, it's spring break for Dakota which means she is home in the evenings - which is usually when I have time to focus on blogging. Take right now, for instance: I can hear Barney singing in the livingroom and Kelton is sitting at the kitchen table playing with PlayDoh and narrating every step of the way. Cute - but hardly the quietness I need to think. :)

Dakota's mom came over to stay with the kids yesterday afternoon so I could go shopping for a suitable outfit for when it is needed. It's nice to know I have something in the house now. Though it was hardlt a fun shopping experience and I'm sure the girl in Macy's thought I was a total basketcase when I was talking with her to get her opinion and I started to cry. What do I know about clothes that require more thought than a pair of jeans and a t-shirt? Turns out not much - but I think I did ok. I even found dress shoes. Go figure.

I casually talked with Kelton about stuff. Just in a broad sense of "Grandma's body isn't doing very well these days. Did you notice that when we saw her? Well - someday she is going to go to heaven and we won't be able to visit with her when we go to Seattle." He was concerned about the following: Would Grandpa have to go too or could he stay? Would Grandma be able to brush her teeth? He seemed to take it all in stride and just said "Ok. But I'm going to miss her." Yeah buddy - me, too.

We've talked about spirits and souls before and he knows that people and animals go to heaven though he doesn't understand why we can't go visit. He knows that bodies stay behind and the part that makes people and animals who they are leave which means they don't have to take their sick bodies that no longer work. He also seems to grasp the difference between sick with a cold or flu vs. sick with a disease. It's all so hard but you know, it's some ways, it nice to be able to break it down into simple, child-friendly terms and concepts. I think it's helped me, too.

*sigh* Never easy, is it?

This weekend we are going to the beach again. I love going to the beach. I'm hoping to log in some rest, relaxtion and family fun. The weekend after, we are heading back to Seattle. The weekend after that is Kelton's birthday, then hopefully we'll have a weekend just to stay at home and get caught up on stuff and then the following weekend we'll probably be back in Seattle. It's a long drive with the kids and it isn't all fun staying in a hotel with them (not to mention how incredible expensive it is with food, gas, hotel, etc) but I know it's important for my mom and I also know it's important for me.

Life is a journey, is it not?

9 comments:

Dee said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your Mom. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

I really hope you enjoy your weekend at the beach! Sounds like you need it.

And, when you take time off it's ok. Your family is the most important thing and we need to treasure every moment while we have it.

Froggymama said...

I'm thinking about you throughout the day and hoping you're okay. Sounds like Kelton has a better grasp on life and death than most adults do. What a kid. Just let that ocean air fill you up, and enjoy a weekend away.

Anonymous said...

My son (almost 5) is also learning about death. It is amazing to me to see their little minds processing such big things. Kelton seems so smart and full of life. I am sure he (along with his sister) will be such a source of comfort to you and D when the time comes. I am thinking of you all.

-Heidi

SassyFemme said...

I'm sorry about your mom. Hospice is a blessing, though. We used it with both of my parents. I couldn't have made it through without them.

It always amazes me how much children grasp about heaven and souls.

Lynilu said...

Children are amazing. You'll be surprised how much it will help to have them in future weeks. They'll keep you focused and believing that there is reason to life. Life is, indeed, a journey. Not always an easy one, but there are always new adventures. And, as I said before, children help us remember to to put one foot ahead of the other. Hugs them one extra time tonight. They will get you through this.

Monogram Queen said...

Life is indeed a journey and you are doing very well. I'm sorry that you broke down when clothes shopping but i'm sure the salesperson took it all in stride.
Wow, Kelton probably grasped things better than I do now. Smart boy! Great way that you are explaining/preparing him for the inevitable also. Happy Spring Break to Dakota and hope you have as good a time as possible at the Beach. Stick a toe in the sand for me :)

Pam said...

Casey, I am so sorry you are going through all of this. No matter how sick someone is and that you know it's coming, it doesn't make it any easier. ((((Big hugs)))). I hope you have a wonderful time at the beach.

Kristen said...

I'm glad Kelton seems to be understanding what is going on, and his questions are so thoughtful.
don't worry about keeping us updated. take care of yourself and your family and enjoy your time with Dakota.

Mieke said...

I am thinking about you. We also had a conversation with Pony about death this week. Strange.

I'd love to write more, but you know...law school. In-laws in town, Passover, then spring break!