Dancing on the Edge

The E-Mail

We had a rough morning. It was Day 2 for Kelton of a preschool program through the local high school. Day 1 was a dream - he loved it! Day 2, not so much. So I wrote an email to the teacher as I had alarm bells going off all over the place. This is Kelton we're talking about. He isn't the kind of kid to sit in the sidelines.

Here's what I wrote (and I don't care if anyone thinks I'm being over-reactive or over-protective. This is my child we're talking about and I am going to do what I think is best).

The email:
"Today, when I left Kelton at preschool, he was excited and happy and couldn't wait to "go to school". I left him, happy, in the care of one of the buddies. When I returned to pick him up, he was a mess and continued to cry and carry on for about 25 minutes and was adamant about not returning to school. I'm desperately trying to figure out what happened in the 90 minutes he was there. I hope I don't sound like an over-reactive parent however this is completely out of character for Kelton and has me both internally upset and mystified.

When I first spotted him - he came immediately over to me (not like the first day when I had to convince him it was time to go) and wanted to go. He didn't look ok so I asked him what was wrong. He said nothing but clearly something was wrong. I asked again and "M", his buddy for the second half, spoke up and said "He didn't want to participate today." I asked Kelton why and "M" said "He said he was tired." That could very well be - the child wakes early every day and he is fighting off a bit of a cold however Kelton is not a child who can sit out for very long. He is driven, and always has been, and will normally join the activity within a few minutes.

Then we had the meltdown over the missing pencil. Not a big deal in the scheme of things and it was easily remedied at home. (sidenote: I also explained that sometimes things get lost when you take them to school and don't leave them in your cubby. I think he understands though I'm sure I will not be able to have him leave his pencil and papers at home - for some reason, he has attached himself to them and they go everywhere - even to bed - with him.)

Once he had calmed, he agreed that he would go back to school next week if "H" could be his buddy. Apparently she was his buddy on Tuesday and he made a connection with her. I'm sure the older kids are supposed to work with different little ones so they can get a true feel of little kids overall however I'm wondering if it's possible to match Kelton and "H" up for a bit so that he can ease back into school and have something to look forward to. Maybe even just for a while and then he can transition to someone else?

It broke my heart to see him this way today. He's been doing nothing but talking about going back to school ever since we came home on Tuesday so for him to have such a radical turn around in a span of 90 minutes has me concerned.

He also mentioned something about being afraid the older kids would laugh at him and make fun of him. He refused to elaborate any farther on that fear but considering he is one of the most outgoing and happy kids in our local MOMS Club, playgroup and rec center preschool group I'm concerned.

Is there any light you can help shed on what happened with him at school today?
Thank you for your time and I look forward to hearing from you."

The teacher wrote back almost immediately, which gave me great confidence. She said: "I noticed toward the end of circle time that he was not as animated and
didn't participate in our singing and dancing. I will talk to my classes
tomorrow and get a feel for what might have happened. We will definately
match him up with "H" on Tuesday. I will get back to you tomorrow after
I see my classes again. Thank you for sharing your concerns."

The thing that I really don't get is how happy he was to be there and then how incredibly unhappy he was when I walked in to pick him up. Night and Day. A completely different child. What happened in that room????