Dancing on the Edge

When Will I Learn?

When will I finally learn that to talk about something only seems to jinx it? I mentioned to a friend of mine that Kelton appears to be over the worst of the Challenging Three's. If yesterday and today are any indication, this is SO NOT TRUE!!

The same thing seems to happen when I say "The baby slept so well last night!" I can bet my bottom dollar that I won't be saying *that* line again for a long, long time. But mommy amnesia will set it and the next time she sleeps well, I'll mention it and then I'll be back in sleepless-hell.

Kelton. My son. The love of my life (well - one of three at least). My shining star. The ying to my yang. Today - he is the challenge to my sanity.

So deviant. So whinny. So needy. So independent. He bounces from one end of the spectrum to the other faster than the single beat of a heart. From kissing me to screaming at me faster than the moss is growing on the patio (which to those of you NOT living in the rainy NW, is dang fast!). From saying such sweet, silly and funny things to being almost vicious.

I know he's having a rough time with Dakota starting classes again. I know that and yet - it doesn't make me more patient when it all starts (and starts again and again and again).

I'm frustrated - and angry. I'm having trouble adjusting too. Not to taking care of the kids alone - that part is going as well as can be expected - it's the lack of time for myself. It's the lack of time to get the chores completed without having a child screaming or crying for something they "need" right that second. I realize this is only the first week - I know it will get better. More tolerable. But right now, knowing those things does not comfort me. And I know it doesn't comfort Kelton. If it did - things wouldn't be so awful.

I want my sweet boy back. I don't so much like the one that is visiting us right now. :(