Monday, December 21, 2009

Monday

I have a lot of things swirling around in my head but there is nothing much that I feel I can, or should, share right now and yet, talking about the kids making a gingerbread house or about things like a tv stand just seem to do the "real" stuff injustice. I know you are all checking in for news. It's just so hard to share this stuff.

I can tell you this: a friend of mine, who hasn't seen the kids in a couple months, watched them for an hour today for me and when I returned to pick them up she took me aside and said "Casey - the kids have really changed since I saw them last. Especially Kaylen. She isn't the little girl I have known all these years." All I could do was sadly shake my head and say "I know."

It's so sad to see the changes myself but it makes it even worse when other people see the changes in them. There is no denying it - they are changed children.

All I can do is love them and try to protect them the best I can. Which is hard considering the space I am in myself. They comes first though. They always have and that is the way it should be. They didn't ask for this mess.

5 comments:

Non-Offending Parent said...

I'm sorry, Casey, that must be heartbreaking.
Hugs to you and the kiddos,
Jennifer

Kristen said...

don't blame yourself, okay? And they'll adjust. Will they be the same? No. But they'll be fine, better than fine.

Mimi said...

ahhh honey they will NEVER be the same......I know it's sad but that's life....just be there for them......love you guys

Stacey said...

I'm so sorry that you and the kids are going through so much. I am thinking of you all and hoping for brighter days.

Tanya said...

That is heartbreaking. But they will be happy, you will be happy. Even if it doesn't feel like it right now.