Feeling "Value-less"
Wow. As a stay at home mom, nothing makes me feel quite as "without value" than receiving my social security statement. You know the document I'm talking of...the one they send out a couple months before your birthday (which was another thing of which I didn't so much need to be reminded. Yeah - I know. I'm getting OLD! Rub it in, why don'tcha?) that shows your estimated social security benefits for retirement, disability and survivors.
I'll be 62 in twenty short years. (Holy crap!!! How did that happen?!?!?!) I've been out of the work force since the day prior to Kelton's birth. That's been almost 4.5 years.
I just *love* seeing those big fat zero's in the "Your Earnings at a Glance" section. I hope my sarcasm wasn't lost on you.
What kills me is that fact that I am working harder *now* than ever before in my entire life. I am on the clock 24/7 with no sick leave, no vacation time, no long term disability, no overtime, no shift differential.....no paycheck at all to show for all my hard work.
I'm raising children from infancy to adulthood. That is an ominous job. We're talking HUGE. If I screw up too much, there is a chance harm to the universe as we know it could be done (Hey! You don't know. Maybe Kaylen will grow up to be a mad scientist who unleashes lethal chemicals into the universe that will destroy all forms of life. Unlikely yes, but you don't know it won't happen. You are all trusting me that I do my job correctly so it won't happen.) Being a parent is gigantic and more important that any other job in the world. Raise good people, maybe the universe will be saved from itself, screw up and well.....you know the drill.
And yet.....those zero's just taunt me. It's like I am doing nothing of importance. I don't have a JOB. Oh really? I beg to differ. Come on over and hang out for a day or two and see how much work goes into this full-time at home child rearing stuff.
Being a stay at home parent should be a paid position. And I mean in something more than hugs, kisses, runny noses and chocolate smudges. I'm taking moolah. Show me the money. Fund my retirement.
And here is something else that really chaps my ass. If Dakota and I were legally tied to each other (I prefer the term married but I don't really care as long as we can have the same legal benefits as straight folks) then I would be entitled to her social security survivor benefits should I outlive her. As it stands now....I'm at home raising her(our) children, doing her laundry and dishes, making sure she has food to eat in the fridge, paying the bills, balancing the checkbook, etc. and I don't even have the freakin' right to her survivor benefits from social security. That sucks.
But really....it's those darn zero's that I'm focusing on tonight. They make me feel worthless. Without value. And yet, I'm doing the most valuable job on the planet. Go figure.
4 comments:
I'm with ya Casey!!!
You do something amazing, the government should be sending you flowers For the awesome things you do for our nation rasing well adjusted kids :)
Our social security system is a joke. Laura's Mom who was a stay at home Mom for most of her life has MS and so desperatly could use disabality. But because she choose to stay at home and raise 3 children she does not "qualify" for disabality. It really pisses me off. It's almost like our country punishes those who stay at home and raise their children.
I applaud you for being a SAHM. You should be so proud of the work that you are doing.
Shawna, They can keep their flowers...I just would like them to add a few thousand to my social security balance every year. :)
Caroline, Thank you. You made my morning. :)
Scares me to death sometimes. I have been a stay at home mom since 1989!I am now 38 and hear that clock ticking..it's a big PIA we should not have to worry about.
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