Dancing on the Edge

Another Thought

Hmmm...I bet you all wish I would go back to being quiet for days on end. :)

For those of you who think the statement/thought of "good enough is good enough" is not good enough for parenting, I'm wondering if it is because we are lesbians and therefore our standard of what we expect of ourselves, our parenting and our children are higher than the "traditional parent(s)". Do you feel you are being judged by other parents and watched much more closely because of your lifestyle?

I know, that for me, I do feel like I am under the microscope more than "straight" mothers....my decisions seem to be looked at through a critical lens of "Gosh - that's probably going to screw her kid up." Then there are the shocked looks I can receive when I, a lesbian who wouldn't be caught in a dress for love or money, puts a dress on my daughter. It's like they are saying, with their eyebrow raised "Well I'll be - she is going to dress that child like a girl after all and not like a small boy."

Then there are the times when my son wants to wear a pink shirt and I know I can't let him because "what will other people think of a lesbian letting her son wear pink?" It broke my heart into a million little pieces when I told him he couldn't have the Dora shoes he so desperately wanted because they had pink on them (yeah, they were girls shoes but I have to wonder if I would have cared much had I not been worried about others judging my ability as a parent). And straight parents probably wouldn't have had the issues that arose at Halloween when my son came to me begging to be a princess. I just happened to read an article in Parenting the very next month about a boy from a hetero couple who wanted to be a princess for Halloween and his parents let him and how it's age appropriate at 3 or 4. It focused on the parents issues with the whole thing. There was no way I could let him do it for fear of other people judging him....and me. And that is based on my feelings of being watched closely to see how I, as a lesbian parent, will screw up my kids.

Wow - it's late. I have no idea where I was actually going with all this but there you have it. A big ol' brain dump. Believe me, when I started this post many, many hours ago, I actually had a train of thought that was relatively coherent (and I was VERY proud of that considering how sleep deprived I am and what a challenge it is to strong two sentences together most days) but I do believe that train has left the station.

So I'll eave you with this: I'm going to try to embrace the mindset of "good enough is good enough" and apply it to my life. Perhaps it will make things less stressful. That being said, I am a Type A personality so this is going to take some serious "trying" on my part. :)