Ramblings
Next week is D's spring break but you know what? I'm surprisingly stressed about it. I sense this "great divide" happening between us and it scares me....a lot. She came home last night, chattering away about stuff (and using language) to which I have no clue. I seriously felt like she was speaking german and I, being a tourist, had forgotten my translation book. So I told her I couldn't follow what she was saying and she acted all put off.
By the same token, I am feeling "less than" on this end because when she is here I feel completely taken for granted and/or dismissed.
The baby cried while we were watching TV last night and she said "Baby."
(like I didn't hear?) and then just sat there and waited for me to go to
her. I felt uneasy and angry that she just expected me to go instead of
offering to help. I don't know....I'm just frustrated. I did tell her that
it's a good thing she isn't taking summer classes because I'm not sure our
relationship couldn't stand the stress. I just feel so isolated from her -
like she is out learning all these things, talking with all these people and
doing all these things and I'm just....well...just here. It's weird.
But then the flip side is - my carefully constructed routines are shot all
to hell when she is home. I guess there is just no winning in this. It's
all about getting by until the end of the race arrives. I just hope we're
still in the race together at that point. Right now I'm feeling pretty
unsure of that. Afterall, it's not like *this* is all that exciting to come
home to at the end of the day. *sigh*
7 comments:
This is common when someone goes back to school. While I was getting my MA and PhD my Mom and Karen felt it. They felt less than. I felt sad too, I felt alienated from those that loved me and not quite connected to the academic world. But, I reassured Karen and Mom that they are more important than school and I really try not being the academic lingo home. I like my world at home and that their is no pressure to be on. I think you and D should talk about it, like I said it is a really common problem.
the kids...are beautiful... :)
sorry for the disconnection that is happening...the only way i know to fix it is communication...this doesnt mean it will be fixed like you think it should though...
hugs...from someone who has been there, done that... *sigh*
peace...
That sucks! My guess would be that she feels she came home from a long day and is too tired to deal with kid stuff, but doesn't realize you have also had a long day of work.
I hope you can figure something out soon!
My thoughts are definitely with you, Casey. The time to reconnect that disconnect is definitely NOW. I really think making time for yourself will help you be able to breathe again and put everything back in perspective. The decisions you make alone and as a couple might never be the ones you expected to make, and that's not meant to sound ominous -- very good things could come of it. But trust me, I know how hard it is when it feels like communication is completely a one way thing and you're always the one up against the Do Not Enter zone.
Warm fuzzies. ~mel
You guys need a date night...just the two of you at least every other week. Period. End of advice. If you want -I know a great babysitter (lots of great refrences), who will soon have a masters degree in Education and a teaching certification, who will babysit occasionally for free :)
I understand!
It is hard to switch from one routine to another to only have to switch back again.
On one hand... You are supposed to be excited about the break, the opportunities to bond like you did before the craziness.
On the other hand... you dread that the routine you have becomed accustomed to is going to be turned upside down.
Casey, I am right there with you. The thing is, rationally speaking I understand that my wife is working just as hard "out there." But I feel really underappreciated right now. I am right there with you.
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