I have been given the amazing opportunity to take a 7 week course in Love and Logic (thank you, Dakota, for bouncing around your night with the kids for these 7 weeks). I've been wanting to take this class for years now but until this year, the timing never worked out. Last night was week 4 and I have to say, I am really enjoying it. Marlene is taking it with me with the thought that it will allow us to be on the same page when it comes to dealing with the kids. I think that is vital when you merge kids and parents who are being raised/raising differently and have different life values. It's tough on the best of days.
Anyway, after class last night I stayed after and talked with the counselors who are facilitating the class to see how I can hand over the ownership to Kaylen for some of her issues (one of the premises is having kids own their own "stuff" instead of parents owning it for them which allows them to develop the life skills they need to be successful people). After getting a run down on Kaylen they looked at each other and said "You can't. She can't take responsibility for getting herself through this because it's not willful behavior. It's medical and mental and that isn't her fault." They talked with me a while longer and praised me for doing all I am doing to get her through what she is going through and really praised me for doing that things I know I need to push her through even though it breaks my heart because I doing what is in her best interest. They were impressed with how far she has come in such a short amount of time. They are hopeful that she will be able to tackle the day alone by the end of Christmas break.
It's so nice to have counselors, whose schools are based on the love and logic formula, tell me I am doing a good job. The other thing I am relieved about is that the basis of my parenting has always been Love and Logic. Instinctively. I have tweaking I can do but really? The ground work is already there from my 8 years of parenting.
I'm doing a good job. And right now? It's great to have that validation.
6 comments:
We all knew you were doing a good job you were the only one who didn't know.....again I don't know if I could of done what you have done......I would of had to walked away and went to work and my daughter/son would just have to of dealt with it.....and what would that of done? lord knows what or how my child would of turned out.....hang in there casey....again I wish I lived closer to help you to give you a break.....xxoxxxoo
Did they suggest to you the Love & Logic solutinos for kids with special needs? Even if it's not willful, some of it could still help her in little bits. There is a book specifically for special needs. Might not exactly apply to her, but then again, it might. I highly recommend it, if you ever get the chance to look at the book.
~ Mel
Can you teach me after you're done :)
I love Love & Logic and use it with our kids. I also loved the book "How to Talk so Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk"--same ideas. Keep up the good work--you are doing a great job. Sorry you're having a lot of crap to deal with though...not fun and you don't deserve that. Glad you got a little kitten because kittens cheer everyone up. ;)
I've been following along for a while on your blog...I really appreciate your honesty in showing the highs and lows. It's hard stuff. Anyway, my partner and I are big Love and Logic fans. It has been a huge help with our spunky kids...and I am pretty sure it has saved at least some of my sanity. :)
Casey, I just read Love and Logics "Parenting Children with Health Issues." And I LOVED it. Some of it was specific to chronic illness, but most of it was basic childhood stuff. You might want to check it out. xoxo
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