I have been given the amazing opportunity to take a 7 week course in Love and Logic (thank you, Dakota, for bouncing around your night with the kids for these 7 weeks). I've been wanting to take this class for years now but until this year, the timing never worked out. Last night was week 4 and I have to say, I am really enjoying it. Marlene is taking it with me with the thought that it will allow us to be on the same page when it comes to dealing with the kids. I think that is vital when you merge kids and parents who are being raised/raising differently and have different life values. It's tough on the best of days.
Anyway, after class last night I stayed after and talked with the counselors who are facilitating the class to see how I can hand over the ownership to Kaylen for some of her issues (one of the premises is having kids own their own "stuff" instead of parents owning it for them which allows them to develop the life skills they need to be successful people). After getting a run down on Kaylen they looked at each other and said "You can't. She can't take responsibility for getting herself through this because it's not willful behavior. It's medical and mental and that isn't her fault." They talked with me a while longer and praised me for doing all I am doing to get her through what she is going through and really praised me for doing that things I know I need to push her through even though it breaks my heart because I doing what is in her best interest. They were impressed with how far she has come in such a short amount of time. They are hopeful that she will be able to tackle the day alone by the end of Christmas break.
It's so nice to have counselors, whose schools are based on the love and logic formula, tell me I am doing a good job. The other thing I am relieved about is that the basis of my parenting has always been Love and Logic. Instinctively. I have tweaking I can do but really? The ground work is already there from my 8 years of parenting.
I'm doing a good job. And right now? It's great to have that validation.