I got a call last night from the computer repair guy and, as is the case these days, more bad news was given to me. He ran the 6 hour diagnostics on it twice and came up with nothing but every time he runs Windows, it shuts down immediately. He has spent three days working on it and, as he said, is completely befuddled by what it is doing. He has changed out everything but the processor and it still isn't working. And yes, even the power supply.
Thankfully he backed up all the data so all my photos, resumes, etc. are saved. I have an XP CPU in the garage that my brother got back up and running after our last computer crisis (pre-computer guy and the Geek Squad couldn't fix it). It's been out there for a few years so the computer guy said he will come over and see about getting it up and running for us. Hopefully that will work. Otherwise, we will be down to just the laptop because there is no way I can afford to get a new CPU at this point.
Last week I got the news that my car is in need of about $500 worth of repairs. I swear to you - it's always something. I so much need life to settle down and feel good again for more than a few hours here and there in any given week. I want to feel happy more often than I feel scared, lost and alone. I want to feel safe more often than not. I want my life to be predictable and boring again. Right now, boring sounds like heaven.
Some day. Some day everything will be ok. I have to believe that. I just have to.