Friday, October 22, 2010

A great morning followed by......

a so not great afternoon. There is nothing like leaving your sobbing child in the care of the school counselor as you walk away without showing how much your heart is breaking.

Yesterday, thanks to a lack of volunteers for All Health Day at the school, Kaylen's carefully constructed routine was thrown into turmoil when I couldn't be with her for lunch and recess but instead I stayed for second recess. I had her weaned from my being at second recess Tuesday of this week so I knew this might cause an issue. And it did.

She wants me there for library time. Apparently library scares her. (This is news to me.) She wants me to come back for a few minutes of second recess. I told her no on both things - not because I'm mean but because I so much don't want to go backwards and I *KNOW* she can do it.

Then she hit me with "But I was brave and took the bus. Please be here with me."

I hate Friday. By Friday that child is done. Toast. Over it.

I called over the counselor and she wrangled Kaylen away from me and said they could talk about library when they were back in her room. I didn't look back - I walk off the playground. My heart shattered yet again.

I know she will be ok. I know she will pull herself out of it. None of that helps me right now. Right now I feel so alone in dealing with my daughter's pain. I'm so glad it's my weekend to have them to myself. I think all three of us need it.


Dakota said...

Good luck to all of you. You are doing the right things. Thank you for all you do for our kids.

Tanya said...

Like I mentioned on FB and kind of like you said in your post, it's Friday. She might be overwhelmed for keeping it together so well the rest of the week and like you said, she's done. Not only that but she did something huge this morning and that probably overwhelmed her too, add to that the change in schedule and all those things are enough to tip her over the edge. Fridays have also been rough for us, we will see how today turns out.

Jennifer said...

I had similar issues with Justine when she was in Kindergarten. In general, she was fine with going to school, but she wanted me there for lunch. She often cried if she had to go to the bathroom (afraid of the loud toilets) or if she had to ask a teacher for anything. It was really hard to go through that with her. I am so impressed with how you are handling this, and as a single parent! You are doing a great job Casey. Your children know you love them because you are there for them EVERY DAY. They will never forget your devotion. (((((hugs))))) Things will get better with Kaylen. It just takes time.