a so not great afternoon. There is nothing like leaving your sobbing child in the care of the school counselor as you walk away without showing how much your heart is breaking.
Yesterday, thanks to a lack of volunteers for All Health Day at the school, Kaylen's carefully constructed routine was thrown into turmoil when I couldn't be with her for lunch and recess but instead I stayed for second recess. I had her weaned from my being at second recess Tuesday of this week so I knew this might cause an issue. And it did.
She wants me there for library time. Apparently library scares her. (This is news to me.) She wants me to come back for a few minutes of second recess. I told her no on both things - not because I'm mean but because I so much don't want to go backwards and I *KNOW* she can do it.
Then she hit me with "But I was brave and took the bus. Please be here with me."
I hate Friday. By Friday that child is done. Toast. Over it.
I called over the counselor and she wrangled Kaylen away from me and said they could talk about library when they were back in her room. I didn't look back - I walk off the playground. My heart shattered yet again.
I know she will be ok. I know she will pull herself out of it. None of that helps me right now. Right now I feel so alone in dealing with my daughter's pain. I'm so glad it's my weekend to have them to myself. I think all three of us need it.