The River

Saturday was a beautiful day so it was only natural that Stephanie and I headed to our favorite place; we just call it "the river". We walked and talked for a nice long time before heading back to reality. The sun was so warm that I had to shed my lightweight jacket which, I do believe, was the first time I've had one just a t-shirt since early last fall. It was a taste of summer....and a perfect day.











The summer weather? It seems to have gone on vacation again as rain is in the forecast this week. I am definitely ready for some warmer, dry days.

Sleep?

Sleep? What's that?

After an amazing seven hours of sleep In. A. Row. Monday night, I logged in about three last night. I have no idea why.

I was sleepy at 10:15 when I said good night to Stephanie and hung up the phone. Then I laid there for a few minutes and decided that my brain just wasn't ready to shut off. The season finale of Parenthood was on (and recording to the DVR) so I flipped it on and watched it. At 11:15, I shut off the light and closed my eyes. I waited for sleep.

And waited.

And waited.

I opened my eyes. 12:30. Hmmmmmmm.

I heard a thud so I went in to the kids room to investigate. Poor little disoriented Kaylen was sitting on the floor next to her bed. I picked her up and put her back in bed. She was out cold before I could cover her up and kiss her head.

I went to the bathroom...and then back to my bed.

1:00.......1:30......WHY AM I STILL AWAKE????.....2:30...Oops. I think I fell asleep for half an hour....3:10........ARE YOU KIDDING ME???? In toddles Kaylen to snuggle with me.

The next thing I heard was Jordan getting up. It was 5:30. I got up and let him out. Twice. Because, you know, he couldn't possibly pee *and* poop in the same trip outside.

I told him to go back to bed. Yeah. Not. I got up at 6 and fed him. I poured of a cup of coffee and surrendered to the day ahead.

Eh. Sleep is for sissies anyway.

(It's early release day. Think the kids will let me sneak in a nap this afternoon? Yeah. I didn't think so either. *sigh*)

Spot on Article

I cannot stress it enough: Parents, stop buying the hoochie mama clothes for your daughters. There isn't an 8 year old (or 10 or 12 year old) alive who *needs* sexy clothing (and this is a million times true for the 4 and 6 year olds too!).

This article is perfect! I'll leave you to your reading. :)

Energy? What's that?

Ugh. My energy level this afternoon took a HUGE nose dive. I have a raspy voice and I'm not feeling all that sharp. I mowed the lawn today and it took more out of me than I would like to admit to. In addition, I did get all those things done that I need to do on any given day plus I processed the PTO yearbook orders and got the deposit ready to go to the bank tomorrow. Heck - I even scheduled an appointment to get my oil changed in my car( a tad bit over due *whistling innocently*). I even gave thought to getting a haircut tomorrow. Notice I said "gave thought to". I haven't done anything about it yet. I just don't have the energy.

I kinda, sorta, in a way made dinner for the kids. Easy Mac for the girl child and french toast sticks for the boy child. Nothing for me, thanks. I'm not hungry. Mostly I just want to change into a pair of ultra comfy yoga pants and crawl into my bed and veg.

Think anyone will notice if I do? Yeah - my guess is no. They are both heavily engrossed in watching High School Musical 2 on Netflix. I think I'll make my escape. :)

Kelton's 9th Birthday Party

Saturday, Dakota's family was over to celebrate Kelton's 9th birtday. Due to a series of events, many of the family members where unable to attend so Kelton asked if he could invite a friend of his and her little sister (Eden and Maissa). He was told that he could (the kids don't usually have "friend" parties as the families on both side are big enough). So - after the house was clean, the kids and I set about to decorating and getting ready. The theme this year? Star Wars, of course. :) I think it's fair to say he had a great party!

Photo Booth Fun

Because I couldn't resist. :)

A good read

An essay on divorce. Very well written....and heartfelt. Thanks to Elise for posting it on her blog. :)

Birthday Boy!

Today is my son's birthday. Yes indeed...somehow (what seems like overnight) Kelton is turning nine years old. He hasn't yet, as he will tell you, because his birth time is 12:10pm. :) I remember clearly his first birthday. I was driving him home from playgroup when the clock in my car flipped over to 12:10pm. I was sad and happy at the same time and I will admit that those feelings are the exact same ones I have every year. I'm happy for him...I'm happy for me. We made it through another year healthy and happy and whole. I'm sad because with each marked year, my baby is growing up and moving, step by step, away from me. When he was learning to walk he held onto the handle of his push dump truck and toddled away from me. I remember that moment as clear as if it happened 10 seconds ago. I remember thinking "Now that he is walking, his steps will take him further and further from me." Bittersweet moments. Parenthood is full of them. I am been so blessed to have been here for each and every one of his milestones. I didn't miss one......well ok - rolling over for the first time I missed because Dakota and I were working on a bathroom project and he was on the floor. We had been listening to him coo happily from the other room. Next thing we heard was a very muffled baby coo. We ran in to see him and he was on his tummy. For fun, we flipped him over and watched him turn again. We did this for almost an hour - until he protested because he was tired of entertaining us. I think back over those days and I just can't believe how fast they have gone. Nine. My baby has been in my arms for NINE years. We are in the last of the single digits and I am finding I really, really want this year to move slowly. I'm not ready for him to be so big. But then, I probably never will be. Happy Birthday, Kelton! I love you more than anything and you, my curly headed amazing child, are my miracle!

Fashionista - yet again

I only take photos of the *really* good ones because well....I'd have to post a photo almost every day. Sure- there are days everything matches but these are the days that make it hard for a borderline OCD-er like myself to smile and say "You look GREAT!" (I do say it though...it's good for her to express herself. For all I know, she will become a fashion designer as an adult. After all, if you Google Little MisMatched you will find a store that sells outfits much like the ones Kaylen creates herself.)

I know some people cringe at the thought of letting their child out the door in self-created outfits but I learned a long time ago that clothing was not a battle I wanted to fight with Kaylen. Who cares what she wears as long as she is dressed and not looking like a hooker. :) (No offense to hookers. I just am not ready to see my child dressed as one.) Life is too short to fight over clothes. She wears what she likes and I'm good with that. And besides...it makes great blog-fodder. :)

PS....Thanks for all the feedback on cub scouts. Who knew it was such a hot button topic both here and on Facebook. I do know about their political/religious stance and I agree with the person who said that we can all stand on the sideline gritching about it and staying away from it or we can move forward for the sake of our sons and CHANGE IT. One person, one child, one pack at a time. Or...for those of you who feel super strongly about it, how about coming up with a boys only alternative?

My son needs strong male role models. He is struggling hard to find his place in a world that is dominated by women. I need to support him and guide him. Anyway....I have a lot to think about. Kelton isn't wanting to go back to cub scouts (they played a board game last night and he wanted to "do something". I can't blame him there. I asked that he talk with the two boys in his class who are in the group and see what they usually do. I also asked him to think about going to the next meeting just to be sure. I want him to be sure it isn't for him because the truth is, I will suck it up and do what I need to do for him. And I know Dakota would do the same....which is probably how this will play out if he wants to go. I think she would be a great cub scout mom! :)

Ok - back to job hunting before I head off to meet Dakota's mom for lunch and then to pick up Kelton and take him to a doctor's appointment then I head back to school grab PTO stuff and pick up Kaylen. Busy day for me.....but then, days are always busy. Can you believe this this is the week when my baby boy turns NINE?!?!?!?! I am in complete denial. Wow. The last of the single digit years.

Sometimes......

....I just have nothing to say. These are one of those times. I'm busy living life and find that when I have a few minutes, blogging isn't one of those things that are on the top of the list....you know, the top of the list is reserved for fun things like laundry and scooping the yard. What? I know you're jealous of my ultra-glamorous life. :)

Spring break has come and gone. The kids and I were in Seattle with my family for the first weekend of it and then we were home - hanging out and enjoying life (and no alarm clock!) for the week. It was great and I have to say, I was sad to see it end. We did nothing of any significance but I find that is a good way to get a break from the routine of life.

This weekend the kids were with Dakota which meant I had time to spend with my bestest chica, Cande and time for spending with Stephanie. It was perfect. Friday night Cande and I went to The Olive Garden for dinner and drinks and I am just going to say it now: The Olive Garden is way, way, way too expensive for what it is. Good food, good drink but the cost was just too darn high. Next time we go back to our regular "food and drink for less" places. It was an experience though, so that was good.

After dinner, we came back to my house, met up with Stephanie and watched The Switch which was a decent way to spend two hours. Cute movie, that's for sure. By then it was late and we all were tired. So much for partying hard. :)

The rest of the weekend was spent with Stephanie just hanging out and spending time together. We ventured down to Clackamas for a few hours and over to Stephanie's house for a few more but other than that, we just hung out together. It was PERFECT.

Today was back to reality. This evening I took Kelton to his first ever Cub Scout meeting and I am just going to say, I might be a bad parent but I really hope he doesn't like it. It is sounding like a HUGE time commitment for *me* which is not what I was looking for at all. I am required to stay through the meetings and there are three a month (!). This means that Kaylen is required to stay as well. The meetings are in the evening and none of the three of us have a lot of energy or patience in the evenings. I would be required to go on the camping trips and day hikes. I am NOT a camping or day hike person. I can already feel my body protesting from sitting on the hard gym floor for an hour. You think it's going to like camping on the ground? Hiking for three miles when my back makes it incredibly painful to walk the length of the mall and back?

That said - I will, of course, suck it up for my child but I really, really don't want to. And next year Kaylen wants to join Girl Scouts. You can just shoot me now.

Seriously.

In my day (HA!), parents dropped a child off at their group meeting and high-tailed it out of there, returning to pick up an hour later. Today parents are expected to stay and be involved in all levels. Including, but not limited to, fund raising.

Here's the thing - I am already feeling over extended with the PTO and my commitments to the school...which benefit my children. I cannot even begin to comprehend taking on more. The thought of it makes me want to hurl. I haven't even talked about the money aspect. I can't begin to wrap my head around that one yet.

Oy. I think I need to go to bed soon. I've had all I can take today and I'm working on only about three hours of sleep between a boy-child who was up twice for an hour last night and the dogs who needed out twice and them started bugging me for food at 5:30am. Did I mention (ever) that it takes me a long time to fall back to sleep after being awakened? It's like water torture for me some night. Time to get the kids to bed and then I'm off to dreamland myself. 'Night Blogland.

Because I Know You Can't Get Enough.....

....of reading about my girly parts. :)

I called the doctor's office a bit ago and spoke with my "specialist". I think I love her. She said that they had gotten their copy of the letter yesterday as well and that my doctor was on the phone immediately to let them know how "non-negotiable" this is. At least, part of it. The biggest part, for me. The D&C biopsy.

The insurance company relented and approved the D&C biopsy surgery party but the ablation part is still up in the air. I can live with that. I've lived this long fearing I am going to hemorrhage to death every month....what's a few more years before menopause hits? Before last month, I didn't even know ablation was an option.

My doctor will call me later today to discuss options and what to do about the ablation part but can I just say how much I LOVE LOVE LOVE that she immediately called the insurance company and said the biopsy part is happening and they are going to approve it? LOVE HER! Not many people have gone to bat for me in my life like that so this is a big deal to me. I saw that denial letter as the kiss-off and the "Sorry. Deal with it." that my life is.

Could the tides be turning? It feels like they are.....finally. I must be living life right these days. :)

I can't believe I am this happy about having surgery. :) But....considering the "in office" disaster, I think anyone would be happy to sleep through it. :)

How Much Pain is "Medically Conservative"?

So. I picked up the mail when I arrived home last night and there was a letter from my insurance company denying my scheduled surgery for the biopsy and ablation. Apparently, the procedure is not "medically conservative" enough for their liking and therefore, they will be approve. I may, of course, proceed with the procedure at my own expense.

Ummm.....yeah. I'll just whip out the ol' checkbook and write a check.

Though seriously, if I could get the surgery at the same cost the insurance company would pay instead of, you know, twenty times more the cost, I might consider it. I could pay it off over time - a lot of time - but I could. (And can someone PLEASE explain to me why medical costs, if you have no insurance, is so damn high? Kaylen's ER bill arrived and it was just under $2000. They cut it down to $300(something) because she has insurance and then billed me $75 for the co-pay (which the secondary insurance picked up). So....a $2000 bill for no insurance was magically transformed to $300 total when there was insurance (of which they were only billed $225. WTF, people? W.T.F?!?!?!)

Today I will call the office to see what my options are. Can they resubmit for the retry at the biopsy in the OR since the office one failed epic-ly? Or do I have no choice but to go through that incredibly painful experience again? (Any guesses? You have been following my life for a while now. Which one do you think it will be? I already know.......*sigh* What's more pain, right? I already live in a constant state of level 4-6 pain, so why not add a bunch more (after all, it's only short term....3-5 days) without benefit of pain meds or anesthesia. Short term or not - adding more pain increases my overall pain load and well.....it's just no damn fun.)

I'm pissed. My doctor and I talked about the options. She and I decided the best course of action but my insurance company says "Oh we don't think so. Well...it probably IS the best course for you but we don't want to pay for it. It's not "medically conservative" enough for our liking so if you would, please try all these other ways which, in the end will cost us more than this one would and use a whole lot of your time and then...then if you are still dealing with it down the road, we'll talk. Chances are *fairly* good it's not cancer.....here's hoping!" *clink* *wink*

I tried the "medically conservative" approach. My body didn't cooperative. Not really my fault it failed since I have no control over my cervix (but let's leave me with the feeling it *is* my fault). Let's try it at least 4 more times, ok? Because it's oh so much fun to have equipment shoved inside of you. The searing pain that made me push back into table until I thought I would push through it and down to the floor? Not a good enough reason to grant me a different route.

Insurance is awesome. I'm so glad they know what is best for me. Next time I'm sick, I'll just call them and ask them what I should do...they seem to have all the answers.

So. Not. Fair.

Can I win the lottery now?

Blood Oranges

Let's talk fruit baskets, shall we? The kids and I were up north this weekend visiting family and celebrating both their birthdays along with their cousin, Mikayla, and for the first night we stayed with my brother and sister-in-law. They have this great local farm who delivers fresh fruits and veggies right to their door. In the shipment of these delectable items, there were some blood oranges. Now I clearly am not a fruit connoisseur because I had never heard of blood oranges but let me tell you - I am a HUGE fan now. Not for me (I think they were a bit tart for my liking) but for Kelton.

The boy ate so many I thought he would turn into a blood orange! He could not get enough.

Sadly, I can't seem to find them right now. I tried Fred Meyer, a fruit market and Safeway and so far, they aren't there. The fruit market worker said they were just starting to come into season and they would have them soon. I'm hoping that's true because I don't want him to forget how much he loved them. They are so good for him and getting fresh fruit and veggies into the kids is a challenge unto itself. :)