Can I get an Amen on this one??
When people ask how I am, my automatic, and conditioned response, is "Fine. You?"
Take this week, for instance. I'm not fine. I've been as sick as a dog since Friday. So sick that I forced myself into my car Monday morning and headed to the doctor. The medical assistant called my name and asked "How are you today?" "Fine." I say.
FINE???? I backed up a second and said "Actually, pretty cruddy." To which she responded "Yeah - or you wouldn't be here, right? I don't know why everyone always says 'fine'."
The doctor came into the room, after hearing my barking, hacking cough from the room next door. She asks "How are you?" I just stared at her...too exhausted to even come up with "Cruddy."
That's one over the top example of how automatic the response of "I'm fine." is a big, fat lie more times than not. (I have bronchitis, by the way. Feeling human again after an in-office nebulizer treatment, three days (so far) of antibiotics, cough medication and an inhaler.)
But think about it. How many times do you pop off with "I'm fine. You?" when asked how you are. Why do we do that? I heard once that people don't really care how we are. It's a polite inquiry that the person really doesn't even care about. I think that sucks.
A long time ago, someone told me what "FINE" actually stands for.
Fucked Up
Insecure
Neurotic
Emotional
So come to think of it.....maybe most of us ARE fine. :)
2 comments:
Love it.. I do that all the time, sometimes it's just to try and convince myself that I am fine when I'm not. When I ask other people I really do want to know the truth, in fact I make a point not to ask if I don't have time for the answer. But it's to the point where you've got to ask three or four questions before you get an honest answer. Sort of sad that we don't know how others are really doing, but I love the definition for "fine".
I think my usual response is "I'm alright" I think it's just a hair less positive then "fine" and leaves more room for interpretation. But if I am feeling good that day I will say "I'm doing well, how are you?" I guess I just want people to know when I'm having a good day so it will continue. :)
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