Saturday, October 22, 2011


My babies should be hitting the open skies in about 5 minutes. It's surreal to think of them in a plane, way above the earth, without me. The thought of them hurling through time and space is enough to make ME want to hurl. Not that they haven't flown before. Not that I have an irrational fear of flying. No - it's just because I am not there do what exactly? Protect them?

See? I know it's crazy but still - I have anxiety about them flying without me there.

Yes. They are with their other mother. Yes. They are safe. Yes. I trust her with them. You the way that I trust anyone with pieces of my heart and soul.

I know they are going to have an amazing time. I mean, how can one go to Disneyland and NOT have fun? I also have no illusion. I know this will be a week full of moments...good and not good... for all of them. The kids have never spent an entire week alone with Dakota. Dakota has never spent an entire week with them. And neither has Vicki. I know my kids. I know there will be....moments....when it's a tough go for all of them.

I wish the grown ups patience, understanding and the ability to remember what it was like to be 9 and 6 and in a land of magic and excitement. I wish the children grace and thoughtfulness to realize what a huge gift they are being given and to be gracious and, above all else, happy and easy to be with.

I wish all four of them a great time.

And I wish for me to get through these days until I can hold my children in my arms again. Because see....*I* have never been without them for a week. Not once in their entire lives.

So that is that - they are in the air on the way to the Happiest Place on Earth and in a while, Stephanie and I will be on our way to the beach. Just a day trip but the beach none the less. I LOVE THE BEACH!!

I'm excited and really looking forward to exploring Cannon Beach without children. I have never spent time at the beach without the children.

I guess we are all spreading our wings a bit.


Anonymous said...

Hey Casey,

Reading your blog this a.m. brings tears to my eyes! I wish you were with them for this experience! I am sure they will have a great time -Disneyland is the best. I hope you can enjoy the week and do things that you don't normally get to do because you have the kids! Thinking of you and look forward to hearing and seeing photos about the kids' trip when they return... Take care of yourself. Kara Carey

Kristen said...

Audrey went to disneyland with grandma a couple weeks ago- without mommy or momma! The picture of her walking down the airport security line with no mom made me teary-eyed. But she had fun and they all survived, as will you.
Try to enjoy :)

Carrie said...

It sounds to me like this is an amazing opportunity for all of you.

And while I know you'll miss your beautiful babies, I also know that you NEEDED a bit of time to remove your mommy hat and recharge. I hope the beach was amazing (oh I miss the Pac NW coast!), and you have a chance to recharge your batteries and breathe a bit.

I can't wait to hear the stories from Disneyland!

XO - Carrie