Friday, January 11, 2013

16 years ago

Today is the 16th anniversary of breaking my back.

Today is the first day in over a week that I haven't cried in pain as I tried to get out of bed.

Today is the first day in a week I have managed to get through seven hours of being awake and upright without needing pain medication.

Today I do not expect to make it all day without needed medication. I still have pain though not as soul suckingly terrible. If I was forced to live with this level of pain for the rest of time, I probably could adjust. Earlier this week? Highly unlikely. The pain was too intense for too many days. Maybe that's the plan of the universe....show me what it could be like so when the pain backs down a bit, but not to the previous level, I am grateful and adjust accordingly.

Today I will pick my children up at school as a surprise since they have been asking all week and I have had to turn them down because I couldn't drive on the pain medication.

Today the sun is out and I am feeling like I just might survive this flare up of massive pain. And that is a very, very good thing.

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