Tuesday, December 06, 2011

Oh How I Hate 3AM

I was exhausted last night. I've been running a low grade fever for a few days (probably due to my syringomyelia since I don't feel sick at all) and by 6pm last night, I could barely keep my eyes open. I made it to 8:30 and then tucked the children into their beds. I watched a half hour of TV and then shut off the light, sinking down onto my pillow with a happy sigh. Only.....sleep didn't come. As it does in the dark of night, my mind started racing with worries and whatnot. Finally around 11, I dozed off.

At 3, Jordan woke me by jumping down off Kaylen's bed (where he sleeps). I sleep incredibly lightly - which sucks for me but which is also good when you have an old dog. I let Jordan outside and stood in the open door, as the freezing air swirled around me, for a good 10 minutes as I encouraged Jordan to do what he needed to do. He is old and I swear he has a bit of dementia. He peed a few times (yes - you read that right) and then convinced me with his sad eyes that he was done.

I let him back in and helped him back up on Kaylen's bed.

No more sleep for me though. The stresses and worries hit me like a ton of bricks. I watched the clock go from 3:15 to 4:25 to 4:40 and then..I drifted off. 5am and Jordan's awake again. I put him outside AGAIN (because I know he needs to poop) and again I play the "GO!" game with him to no avail. Ten minutes later, I give up and in he comes. He and I go back to our beds. This time I drift off in about 15 minutes......

He's up again at 5:30. I put him outside AGAIN and then I give up and feed him. I put him outside again and he just stands on the patio for several minutes and just stares at me. I sigh and let him in.

We walk back to the bedrooms and.........HE POOPS ON THE FLOOR! SERIOUSLY?????????

I haven't slept for more than a wink and a nod since Three-Freaking-O'Clock and at 5:45 he poops on the floor?!??!?!?!?! He had been outside FOUR times!

So let's recap, shall we? I slept from 11-3 which is 4 hours.....add in *maybe* 30 more minutes and you get a whopping 4.5 hours of sleep. And I wish I could say this was a rarity. But it is not.

Any wonder why I fall apart emotionally every few weeks?!?!



Mimi said...

Is your yard fenced in and could you leave him out in the yard and just back to sleep? wow don't know what I would do if that was my sleeping pattern.....sorry for ya

Casey said...

Yes, I have a fenced yard and no, I couldn't just leave him out there. Frist off, he is 14 years old and has never been left in the yard. He only goes out to do what a dog needs to do or spend a little time in the fresh air. It would be mean to leave him out there. Secondly, he would bark and bark - and I wouldn't blame him. Thirdly, it's cold (32 degrees last night). Putting him outside or locking him in a confined area (kitchen, garage, etc) at night is cruel when he is used to being a family member.

Being cruel to an animal is not something I can do. He is old. It's not his fault and I'm certainly not going to punish him for being old. He wouldn't understand why he was being treated that way.

For now - this is my life. If it gets out of hand, I will need to take further steps to ensure his dignity and well being. And that just might mean that it's time to say goodbye to a dear, faithful friend. As hard as that would be - he would haev his dignity and he would leave the earth knowing he was loved as he had a right to be.

Elizabeth said...

Do you ever get a chance to take a nap while the kids are in school? Naps were a rare thing when my kids were growing up, but I sure loved them when I could get them.

Mimi said...

I didn't mean it as being cruel....just wondering.....didn't realize it was so cold where you are