Funk

I'm in a funk. Nothing specific, everything in general. I really don't enjoy days when I feel like this; every negative emotion, feeling and word I direct towards myself. It doesn't help ease the feeling of funk. It does the exact opposite.

I don't know why I feel this way. I catch bits and pieces of the crap flying around my head: summer is almost over, Kaylen's patching and how soul sucking a process it is for both her and I, yard work that needs to be done but for which I have zero motivation to do (in my dream yard, I have fence to fence grass and no gardens whatsoever. I am not a dirt loving girl and I don't get the love of gardening. Not at all. Mowing the yard and watering it? That I can handle.), job searching, worrying about what to do about the kids when I finally do land a job, how it will change all of us, how to fit everything in that needs to be fit in while doing it on my own, bills, animals, car repair bills and medical bills....how I need to get up north to meet my new niece but how there is no money for two tanks of gas and I need to figure out where the kids and I can stay for an overnight visit considering I'd rather go mid-week than weekends (which are at an all time premium right now. It's amazing how fast time goes when you live in every other week increments).....just everything. How it will all come together. *When* it will all come together.

It's overwhelming. Four weeks to the start of the new school year. Supplies to purchase, clothes and shoes to make sure they have. Time, precious time with my kids, slipping away hour by hour.

Kelton, starting fourth grade. Kaylen heading into first.

As exhausted and overcome with "all things baby" that my brother and sister-in-law are right now, I envy them. The days and weeks and months when a small person dictates your every moment feels like bliss from where I am sitting. The needs of that tiny person consumes you so much that all other thoughts are squeezed out of your head.

I could use that; thoughts squeezed from my head.

So last night I tried to do just that. After dinner was cleaned up, I loaded the kids into the car, along with a package of hot dog buns days away from going bad, and took us all over to the duck pond to feed the ducks and walk around the park. I grabbed my camera, hopeful to catch a couple good shots of my small people. Hoping to freeze time for just a little bit.










I wish I could freeze it for forever.

The Beach Trip

One word: FANTASTIC!

We had such a great time that we snuck in an extra day and didn't come back until Friday. The funny thing was, we were all packed, the car was loaded and the kids and I were resigned to leaving when Stephanie pulled the "I don't wanna go." card. The kids echoed their displeasure with leaving and all four of them looked at me.

A few phone calls and a trip to the front desk later, and we were set for another night. I'm really not sure who was happier - the kids......or Stephanie. :)

In the days that we were in Seaside we never once got into the car. I parked it in the hotel parking lot Tuesday morning and I didn't start it up again until Friday morning. We spent our days in the waves, playing in the sand, playing for hours in the hotel pool. The kids rode the Tilt-a-Whirl about a million times. We went to the funny hat store, bought Crocs for Kelton and Kaylen (they had worn out their pairs from last summers trip to the Croc store). Stephanie and the kids rode go-carts and rode around town in a cool Sponge Bob golf cart car thingy (as much fun as they had, I was equally happy browsing the shops alone while they were tooling around.). We ate at the Pig-n-Pancake as well as the "fancy" restaurant in the hotel (the kids were beside themselves with the fancy-ness of it. It was pretty cute to listen to them but I will say, their manners were amazingly great when we ate there. Made me want to do it all the time since it wasn't any more expensive than the Pig-n-Pancake but alas, it was 99.9% seafood and well.....I don't enjoy seafood. At all.

Anyway - we had a blast (and a few not so great moments, which is to be expected....but those have already faded into the background and all that remains in my memory is how fun it was.) and no one wanted to come back to real life. I'm still singing the "I want to be back in Seaside" blues. Singing loudly too, I might add.

Nothing beats time at the beach for me. It's my "go to", my wish, my dream, my safe place. I just love it there. Absolutely love it.

But what is a blog post about a beach trip without pictures? Mighty sad, that's what. So without any more delay, here are a zillion pictures of our adventure:

Day One: First stop was Family Funland. I had passed it many times over the years but this was the first time I stopped. Stephanie saw the go-carts and just about bounced out of her seat! She had been wanting to take the kids to Oaks Park to drive go-carts and here were some *right in front of us*. How could I not stop?

Yeah. YOU try to get a decent picture of these three kids. *eye roll*


Kaylen and Bear. Bear went *everywhere* with us. Kaylen even insisted on spending some of her spending money to get Bear a new outfit. She is pretty attached to that furry thing these days. :)




Next up were the spray boats. I'm pretty sure the guy loaded Stephanie into the boat with the sprayer which overshot its target on purpose. She didn't stand a chance against the kids. She was soaked all the way through and ended up changing in the parking lot. Three days later, her sweatshirt was STILL wet!










Crazy hats for crazy kids.
Kelton is still wearing his hat. I think he made the best choice of any of them. :)


There are just no words for this one. :)


I LOVE this picture of Stephanie. :)

Tilt-A-Whirl. I'm pretty sure I would have been tossing my cookies but the kids rode it over and over and over and over. Day after day after day.


Kelton and I took some time away for just us. We walked along the promenade and then back through town. It was really nice to have one on one time with my boy.






On our way out of town, we stopped for a last run on the go-carts. Andrew, exhausted from swimming, didn't want to drive and, with Kelton being a bit under the height line, we held our breath. YES! They decided he could reach the pedals and be safe so he was given the green light to drive in a car alone! He was THRILLED! They had him watch the safety video, quizzed him and then turned him loose. He was amazing! Hesitant at first but by the second lap, he had picked up speed and was passing people. That's my boy!!!

There is nothing like a few days at the beach. :)