Sunday, May 03, 2015

Wow

I have to say, your comments surprised me.  I had no idea my blog would still be in radars.  It seems like everyone had left blogging for the world of Facebook.  Thank you for commenting back.  What a nice thing to wake up to this morning.

I'm hoping to get back to blogging.  I opened up a new blog a while back but never got far with that one either.  I guess it's a case of not being sure what I can/should write about.

Blogging, over the years, have been the best thing and one of the worst things.  The worst of times was five years ago when I not only lost the relationship I thought I would have for the rest of my life, but also almost my entire circle of mom friends.  It's been lonely, that's for sure.

I'm 50 now.  Kelton just turned 13 and Kaylen is 10.  My life looks absolutely nothing like I thought it would, all those years ago when I dreamed of children and family.  I think it's fair to say that. Out everyone, when looking back over time, sees the times gone by as "better days" or "happier times" and Im trying to wrap my head around whether that is true (because those early childhood years didn't feel easy at the time but they feel like they would be a piece of cake from where I sit now) or whether it's all just perspective.

Some days It's long to have a button to rewind to the beginning and start again.  Maybe taking the knowledge I have today with me...but maybe not.  Blissfully ignorant might be best.  

There was a time I believed in happily ever after.  I don't believe in it now but that leaves me wondering what I DO believe in.  Clearly the universe has made it clear over the years that my definition of happily ever after isn't a very popular one.  

I don't know,  as you can see......I don't know much of anything right now.

Thanks for still being there.

3 comments:

Stacey Bourgeois said...

I'm sorry things aren't going well. I think happily ever after comes and goes. Sometimes it feels impossible and other times it feels perfect. I don't think anyone sits in a "happily ever after" state all the time but there are moments of perfection and moments of depression. I hope you're just going through a rough spot to be followed by a beautiful one.

Shannon said...

Everything Stacey said above. I hope life starts to feel happier for you again soon.

I'd recently deleted a bunch of blogs off my blog roll that hadn't been updated in some time, but there were a few I kept just in case because I really hoped the bloggers would come back eventually, and yours was one of them. :)

Caroline said...

Hi Casey. I am so glad to see you blogging again. I have been trying to get back into blogging but I'm not sure I will ever be the blogger I once was.

I am sorry that you are struggling right now.

We are all here for you!