Tuesday, July 02, 2013

Still around

Yep.  I'm really still around.  My sister has accused me of having a boring blog.  While that might, in fact, be true, my life is anything but.

I feel like I have been in crisis mode since mid-December.  It is one thing after another.  Some good, some not.  You know, the regular ol' "that's life" thing.

December was the Newtown shooting which flipped me on my head.  I have an inherent fear of having my kids away from me to start with and it had taken me years to be ok with sending them to school.  December also brought some personal issues that rocked the boat as well.

January, after living for months in sever pain, I went to my doc for help.  That brought me to the MRI's and the neurologist visits and eventually landed me with a minimal pain control plan.  Some days it helps, most days it doesn't.  But that is life with syringomyelia.

January also brought about some behavioral changes in Kelton.  I worked hard to try to figure things out.  I worked hard to keep peace in the house because he could (and can) be very challenging.  He always has been but before it was only really me it impacted.  Dakota wasn't around much starting when Kelton was just over three years old.  I can deal with his "quirkiness".  Not many others can.  So that, as you can imagine, put me in a tough spot.

February 3rd Crestline burned to the ground.  I handled the first two weeks without thinking too much. I moved into action and I did what I could to help.  It helped me to help.  Without sounding like a big time whiner though I will say that I think I have some sort of PTSD from the Crestline fire.  Things started building up, emotionally, for me.  I felt like I was losing my ability to cope.

Good things happened in there, too.  Lots of good things.  It wasn't all doom and gloom but when it was tough, it was really, really tough.

February 25th, Stephanie proposed to me.  She had proposed to me earliermin our relationship and we bought rings but this time it was "It's time.  Will you set a date and marry me?" That was a super duper good thing.  Along with that though came the stress of picking a date, finding a venue, planning.  Good stress but stress non the less.

March came along and I was treading water and dealing with Kelton who was starting to spiral on me with his behavior.  I was at my wits end trying to figure out what was happening with him and keeping a sense of peace in the house.

April was Kelton's 11th birthday and we had a party here with some of his friends.  It went well but what preceded was Kelton needing to "come out" about his family, which he had chosen to keep quiet at school.  At Crestline, everyone knew about him having two moms.....no big deal.  But at Hockinson, no one in his class knew.  So he had to tell his friends which was hard for him but it was well received. The party and the stress of the huge coming out was difficult on me and I was sinking a bit further.

Kelton's had his well child visit and a new growth on his back was a topic of concern.  I requested a referral to dermatology.  We went to that appointment and had it removed and sent for biopsy.  It came back as skin cancer and after weeks of waiting, a second lab confirmed clear margins.  In August we go back in to have a full body scan.

In May, Kelton's behavior reached a crisis point for me.  I couldn't deal with it anymore and finally talked with Dakota about getting him into counseling.  She got the approval and I made the appointment.  After two sessions, she had us do the evaluation for ADHD.  It came back with a moderately high score.  Which meant going to Kaiser and starting the paperwork with them.  We talked with the PA on the initial visit and Kelton decided that he would like to look into naturopathic medicine instead of rushing into western medicine.  All four adults were on board because none of us want him on meds if we can avoid it.

In May, after a LOT of thought and tears, I went to the doctor and was put on anti-depressants with a strong anti-anxiety component. 

Also in May, Kelton tested into the gifted program and will be starting Middle School in the Explore program for highly capable kids.

June brought the end of the school year.  And chaos in the house.  The summer feels like a test to see if I can keep my sanity.  I love my kids, I love having them around, but I will tell you, the three of them can drive me to the brink.  I am trying to maintain a schedule but.....some days are good, some days aren't.

Today Kelton saw the naturopath.  For the first year ever, Kelton didn't take lunch from home to school.  He got hot lunch, and elected to have school breakfast every single day.  Today I learned school lunches are loaded with sugar.  Kelton is sugar sensitive.  Always has been.  The thought is Kelton's brain is on sugar overload.  So the treatment plans consists of better food and packed school lunches.  Kelton, to my surprise, was on board and asked to go food shopping immediately following the appointment.  For lunch today he had hummus, pita bread, and a red pepper.  For snack he had whole grain bread with almond butter.  I am glad to see his willingness to eat better.  I am worried about how all this "healthier" food is going to impact my budget.  A small jar of almond butter at Fred Meyer was $10!  Yikes!!  Nuts and seeds are highly recommended for snacks.  Those suckers,while yummy and good for you, are pricey!  We buy some to have in hand but clearly I will need to increase the amount.

Yep...a dollar spent on this end saves two dollars on medical care down the road but ouch!  And then there is needing to transition everyone..including my reluctant eater, Kaylen.

Stress?  Yeah...I've got it.

So while the blog is boring, life is anything but.

6 comments:

lisa said...

Thank you for the update I have always and I'm sure I always will love reading your blog!

cheers Lisa

Zach said...

Thank you for posting! I have been wondering how you have been doing since the Crestline fire.
Best of luck in all of the stressful things and CONGRATS on the marriage!!

Audra said...

i've missed updates :) I've been working on a wellness newsletter for work and have found this site that I love:
http://www.100daysofrealfood.com/

They offer tips on budgeting real, healthy food- because you're right- it is more expensive!

Anonymous said...

Congratulations on setting your wedding date! Glad to know you're still with us. Kelton is a smart young man being willing to address his ADHD head on and eat healthier.

I too struggle from chronic depression and anxiety, getting on the right meds is crucial.

Lookng forward to future updates and glad to know you're still with us.

Stacey Bourgeois said...

Thanks for the update!

It sounds like you've been dealing with more than your share of stuff. I keep saying 2013 is a crummy year so far. Let's hope that the rest of the year is much better!

Congrats on the engagement!!

-L said...

Nice job with an update! I'll cut you some slack for another week now!