Dancing on the Edge

Ramblings and Photos

Yesterday and today James and Cara took the kids for the day so that I could stay with my mom. It's impossible to have the kids there now and besides, hanging around there for hours and hours isn't the best thing for them. They are much better off running wild at a park or something. I'm so lucky that James and Cara are enjoying spending time with them (even when Kelton forgets to wear his listening ears).

It's strange to have them away from me all day. Yesterday I had thought they were just going to the nearby park and then would be back but they ended up going to one park, then McDonald's for lunch, then another park and finally to my sister's house before returning. They were gone from 11-4 which is a long time for them to be away from me. They did great though.

Today they left around noon and returned around 4:30 and again they visited a park, McDonald's, the beach and another park.

Needless to say both nights they fell into their beds exhausted. Last night Kaylen stood in the bathroom calling "Bath Mommy! Bath!" She knows that bedtime follows bath and she was eager to be tucked in.

Yesterday I neglected to pass along my camera but today I remembered. Here are a few of the 146 pictures that Cara took. Too funny! :)

Here they are at the beach which is about 10 minutes from where my parents are:


And these are park and McDonald's pictures:


Tomorrow I am definitely picking up some sunscreen for these guys. My poor babies are a bit sunburned on their arms and faces. Who knew? When I packed to come up here (four and a half weeks ago) it was all about raincoats and long sleeves. This week I've had to pick up a few summer outfits. I didn't realize I would be here for the change in the season. Wow.

Have I mentioned that it's been a long 4 weeks? James and Lannon keep telling me that time is being counted in dog years during all this and I have to say, they are right! Seven dog years to every one human year....so what does that equate to in months? I'm too tired to figure it out but it's a lot.

Thanks to everyone for your prayers and thoughts. Today my mom didn't wake at all; not even when the caregiver and I tended to her hygiene or turned her. Not once did I see her eyes even flutter open. Today for the first time she looked mostly dead. It was weird. When she received her meds this afternoon she didn't wake either and that included choking on them (which was really hard to watch). Note to self: make sure that people know I want an IV port for medication when/if I ever get to this point. Meds by mouth (her desire was stated "by mouth or not at all") when you can no longer swallow worth a damn is not good. I get the not wanting to be hydrated to extend things but an IV port for meds seems reasonable to me....and downright necessary after seeing what I saw today. She has to have the drugs to be comfortable and yet choking to death on them seems so...........well... awful.

I'm praying that tonight she starts her new journey. Somehow I just KNOW the new place will be better than where she is right now.