I know you are probably dying to see the layout of the room in which we are staying. I mean, who could blame you? This hotel living is nothing like Eloise or even The Suite Life of Zack and Cody. I mean, it's ok and all but...well...it just isn't home. Know what I mean?
The bedroom doesn't actually have a chair in it. Instead, where the chair appears on the floor plan there is a roll-away bed that Kelton sleeps in. Otherwise, it's pretty accurate.
In other news, things are picking up speed. We're in the counting hours part - hospice feels certain she won't make it much longer. It's hard to watch but I'm glad I am here. I've said my goodbyes and feel at peace about it all....well, as "at peace" as you can get when your mother is dying and soon won't be in the world. It's so strange to think about the reality of that; not here. My mom will be gone. I know this seems like a big ol' "duh" but I've never lived one single day in my life when my mother was not part of the world. Facing the reality that soon I will be "motherless" is...well....I cna't even describe it.
I know many of you know what I mean and I hope the rest of you don't have to experience this for a long, long, long time. It's just so strange. Surreal. Dreamlike.
I don't know.................
Anyway - that's it from here for now.
7 comments:
I'm keeping you and yours in my thoughts. You'll be glad in the future that you were there this whole time - TRUST me! As hard as it is right now, just put one foot in front of the other sweetie!!
I've been reading your blog for a while now, but I do not think I've posted yet. I lost my mother in November (almost 6 months ago) and I cherish the 'goodbye' moments. We still talk about how we sat in her room for days and had the up and down moments and how we would not trade those for anything. In the end, she went very peacefully with all of her family standing around her bed like angels guarding her. Please cherish every moment and know that while it will hurt like hell, the bad moments do begin to turn into 'ok' ones after a while. I cannot imagine a day in my life without many thoughts about my Mother. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
((hugs)) You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Peace.
I can't even imagine how rough this must be and still you count your blessings. What an inspiration you are Casey.
I agree with Patti. You are such an inspiration in how you have been handling everything. My only wish is that I was closer to you to be there to give you a hug.
We're with you in spirit, sweetie. Hang in there and know that this is for the best that you are there with her and doing all you can. *HUGS*
I do understand about the peace brought by having time to say goodbye. Not easy, but that peace is a blessing. It isn't easy. You're being though of and bloggingly embraced over and over.
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