This morning I dropped Kelton off at his cousin's house and then Kaylen and I met Lannon, James and Cara at the florist to order flowers for the funeral. I am amused at how people react to us. We are not your average mourning family, I guess. We tend to crack stupid jokes and use some dark humor. Everyone copes in their own ways and for us - around other people (and each other for the most part) we keep things light. I'm not one to cry in front of other people - and especially not strangers. Once people figure us out a bit, they too are much more lighthearted about things. I mean seriously people - I can only cry so much. My eyes are killing me and I have had a splitting headache for days and that is just for all the times I tear up and choke it all back. I can't imagine crying all day every day.
Anyway...we picked out the flowers and I returned to pick up Kelton. On the way I decided to take the kids to Build-A-Bear Workshop at the Alderwood Mall (which is just a couple blocks from our hotel).
They had a blast and were so well behaved!! I had thought they would choose the less expensive animals but oh no! Not my two. They each fell in love with $20 bears and then had to get a sound thingy and clothes. Oh but the joy on their little faces - it was all worth it. Keltons' has shoes, too but given that it's bedtime and I sneaked the bears out of their beds, the shoes are not on. Kaylen's, of course, is wearing princess clothes. And what did they name their new friends? Rocky for the Kelton's and Princess for Kaylen's. :)We came back to the hotel for lunch and then it was off to yet another park. We are staying only about 10 minutes from the house Dakota and I owned from 1996-2002 and there is a neighborhood park that we would often visit. It has a huge wooded area perfect for a long walk as well as a play area. The park isn't in the best of shape right now and I think the play area is waaaaay too close to the road (something I never noticed before since we didn't have a child yet) but the kids still had a good time.
We also drove by our old house. Incredibly, 5 years later, it looks exactly the same. The planter box I had on the porch is still there, so is the squirrel feeder, the bricking around the garden that we put in and the address number plaque that I made. We hung the shutters, the front door and the screen door. It is kind of trippy - like stepping back in time. The trees are bigger but basically - it's the same. I couldn't help myself - I just had to take a picture.
That house has a lot of memories tied up in it. It's where I broke my back and it's to where we brought Kelton home from the hospital. So many memories. So many.
So that's been today.
(PS..Wow. I just noticed the date. May 14th. The kids and I have been up here for one entire calendar month. We arrived April 14th (Kelton's 5th birthday). And that, of course, means my mom has been not part of this world for 3 days. 84 hours, to be exact. Feels like so much longer - on both counts.)
11 comments:
OH!!! Kelton and I share a birthday!! Of course, mine occurred, uhmmm, a few years before his. Just a few. No one crack any jokes ... j.u.s.t. .a. f.e.w.!!!
Keep marching, girl. You'll get there, wherever "there" is. Hugs.
Those bears resemble your kids I have to say. I think the shirt on Kelton's must remind of me of something he would wear. I'm glad you'll be headed home soon. Again...I am so sorry.
I have been gone for a week and am just now checking in. I had wondered my entire trip what was going on with you and how your mom was. I had no internet so I just prayed for you all. Sorry to hear this news. I am so happy for you that you had a month to be with her and help. I know you will always look back on this time, as hard as it is, as wonderful.
Heidi
very cute bears i just think that store is such a great idea gives kids a chance 2 make something that they see is cool way 2 go mom 4 letting them be kids! sending u some prayers!
You are doing so well Casey. That is really sweet about the house. I am very emotional about houses.
I love the build-a-bears! I want to take Madison so bad!
Love the bears! I love taking Tate to Build a Bear and can't wait to take Riley.
What a sweet walk down memory lane. I love driving past our old house. Only it hasn't faired as well as yours.
We handle grief the same way as you. We go from tears to laughing in 0 seconds.
Big hugs!
You know, I have the same mentality about grief. I'm much more comfortable making any humor possible, it helps to ease the huge lumps you can get in your chest. You grieve however works for you, and screw anyone who may be looking to judge you for it. I think it's great how you're doing so much play/park stuff for the kids. I'm sure it's making it easier (a bit!) for them to cope with all the other stuff going on. You are always in my thoughts, and I'm sending you big warm hugs and love.
I can totally picture your kids having matching outfits with those bears! How cute!
Its really great that you've been able to do such fun things with them during this obviously rough time. It will make their last memories of grandma really sweet.
I am thinking of you, and wishing you well.
I can totally relate to the laughter. We spent days in Mothers room before she left laughing and crying. Life still happens. Keep doing what you're doing?
I think that the dark humor is a defense mechanism -- because laughing feels "normal" and we so badly need "normal" during a "not normal" time.
We went to the Vermont Teddy Bear Factory when we had our Civil Union back in 2001, and had our first "child." We named her "Perennial," figuring it represented the constant rebirth of our love for each other. Sappy, eh?
I adore the bears your little ones made -- good choices in clothing.
Build A Bear is SO much fun! I'm glad the kids had such a great time - love their choices. I still wish one of my kids would choose the monkey, but no... they have different ideas.
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