Is it just me?
It seems like every time I open up a newspaper of my internet browser news page I am seeing story after story after story of people abusing or killing their children. These are in addition to the horrifying amounts of stories of other people hurting or killing children. I'm talking about the father who today stabbed his 11 month old in the back with a knife (the child lived, thank God!) or the parents who not only physically abused their 4 year old daughter but who left her locked in the bathroom for 10 hours scrubbing her clothes in the tub. The put that child through hell all day long and "somehow" she drown.
It feels never ending this week. Story after story. What is WRONG with people? I scream inside my head (so as not to scare my own babies) "These are your children! What is WRONG with you??" Something else I don't get is it feels like a lot of these people live in apartments. Are you telling me that the walls of apartments are so solid these days that no one outside the four walls can hear a child screaming for all they are worth as someone is beating them time after time after time??
Where is societies accountability for keeping our children safe? And what about the agencyies that receive reports but give an all clear only months later to have the child end up dead?
Yes, kids can push your buttons. Mine can make me lose my mind and my temper - but I could never, ever, ever think of doing to my beautiful children what these parents are doing to theirs. I berate myself for yelling at them when I am at my wits end. Those moments haunt me...and "all" I'm doing is raising my voice to tell them what I told them to do three or more times (as in "I SAID THREE TIMES TO GO BRUSH YOUR TEETH...GO NOW!"). I just can not even comprehend what goes through the mind of a parent when they beating, smacking or killing their child.
I guess I'm glad I can't comprehend. Hopefully that means I am not missing the piece of my soul that makes it so easy for people to hurt children.
A lost piece of their soul. Is that what it is?
Are there really more cases of this going on or is it the same as always but with the availability of news sources, is it just easier to come across the articles? As a mother am I just more sensitive to it than I ever way before? No, it feels like there is an increase.....
I just don't understand. I don't really *want* to understand. I just want it to stop. STOP!!!
6 comments:
I think you're right. Scott and I were watching the news last night and had to turn it off - it was so horrible. It makes me sick. We have such an amazing support system of friends and family, that when I hear about people abusing their kids or treating people with such cruelty, I realize we live in this bubble of wonderful and caring parents. Where are the family and friends of these abusers? I'm just not watching the news these days. It's too difficult and I feel helpless, because how can we help those kids? Other than be aware of the kids in our own neighborhoods, at the park, the grocery store. I also get on line and check out the registered sex offenders in our neighborhood, so if I see them near our kiddie park, I can report it. I hear ya, it's too much to bare sometimes.
I think that it's not just that it's happening more frequently, but that it's being reported more frequently - therefore making more tv time, etc. This is one MAJOR reason I choose to give up my "cushy" yet boring desk job to become a Child Abuse Investigator (my formal title) with CPS. But honestly, I just can't imagine what would lead a parent to do the things they do when they hurt their kids. Sad...
Amen to that. I can't comprehend it either and I feel such remorse when I yell at Maddie also.
One of my friends' granddaughter was 3 and she was abused than subsequently murdered by her Mother's boyfriend (both are in jail now). It is an awful, awful, awful thing.
I think that all this stuff always happened before it's just that when we were kids it was okay to beat your child. It was discipline. Now that all those 'kids' are adults, they don't put up with it and it gets reported. But then we are now going the other way. The children that were in the 'no consequence for my actions' generation are now starting to have kids and don't know what the heck to do with a kid that screams and yells and disobeys. And ends up beating or killing out of frustration. Did any of that make sense? It's awful. I am really happy that I live up here in Canada. We don't really hear all the gross horrible news. I only hear about stuff like that on peoples blogs. Do you think that your news stations focus on 'shock' news?? Just wondering what the difference is.
j.
I agree! I can't comprehend doing so many of the things that are done to innocent children. As a parent though, I can see how your patience levels are tested and those boundaries are pushed. But I personally could never physically harm them. Take deep breaths and pray for bedtime - yes!
I know when a report was made about a family member; CPS didn't look into - at all! From the report, they decided that there wasn't enough harm being done. Now... I agree that on the scale of "bad"... they/she weren't at the bottom end of the scale. But why do they have to be to get help?
I don't think you can understand it. Those of us who wouldn't lay a hand on our children can't comprehend such cruelty.
My mother used to say that people should pass some sort of a test to be a parent - not a hard test, just a test of your decency and common sense. (she used to work with the abuse victims)
The problem with the agencies is that they are trying to help. It takes a very special person, like momtothreeboys to take a big pay cut to work on helping these victims. In areas where the per capita population is higher and cases might be more frequent, the staffing is not able to handle the load.
Now that I am a parent, I am even more sensitive to it than ever. I think that if someone touched my kid, it would set something off in me. I feel more protective of every child I see.
I do not have much time or money to make a big difference, but joined the United Way in our city to volunteer for the "strengthening families" board for services that aid in victim response or other such things.
It's something I can do.
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